Him|Tommyinnit

06

Sylvia POV

We start our walk to the beach, vlogging some things and some just us talking about streaming stuff.

As we get to the beach, my stomach is in knots. We set down our stuff and I hesitate. Tubbo sees my face of discomfort "hey are you alright?" I nod as I take off my outer layer of clothes, now only wearing my swim suit.
I hold myself, trying to cover up as much as I can. He frowns, "you look great, don't worry so much" I nod and we head to get the stuff we need for the vlog

-
After we go swimming and vlog some. We head back to where are stuff it and dry off. I hold the towel around me, feeling extra exposed. I don't wanna put on the tank top I came here with, I don't wanna be in my own skin anymore.

I see Tubbo notice me being uncomfortable. He reaches into the back and hands me a spare shirt. "Here, I've noticed some things and thought maybe this would help" I look at him in wonder.

How does he know me so well.

I put the shirt on and pull my pants on as well. I know it's just a regular t-shirt but it's more than that. Tubbo smiles at me noticing me cheer up a bit.

We walk back to his house so I can stream from his pc. We start up and go on the dream smp to fuck around. We get told by chat to watch a SAD-ist animatic. (If you haven't watched it you should).

I watch and try to commentate while remembering these moments that are shown. I remember these conversations. It's so cool seeing myself animated, until I see the way they see me. Long hair, hourglass shape, with my signature look, the red and white shirt. As things get good, I fucking kicked his pc, crashing the stream. We laugh for a bit but decide it would be cool to go out to the beach again and watch the sunset.

-
We sit in the sand, my hair in a messy bun as I don't wanna have to deal with it. I rest my head on Tubbos shoulder, and sigh. "Tubbo can I tell you a secret" I whisper quietly. I feel him nod.

"I've been thinking a lot lately" I say leaning off him and looking down at my hands. "I just don't see me as me anymore" I run my hands down my face.

I looks at me concerned, "what do you mean Vi?" He asks softly, as if he's trying to not to upset me more (it didn't work)
I groan, frustrated "Like that! I don't feel like Vi, I feel like I'm stuck in this body and I can't get out" I cry as I finally let myself feel the stress that has been building up.
He stays silent as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. Tubbo doesn't normally like to hug, but when i realize it's happening I turn and let myself cry. As I sob I hear him quietly shushing me, telling me it's gonna be okay.

I lean away and hiccup as the tears are still streaming down my face. "I hate being a girl Tubbo, it hurts. I hate it so much. I don't wanna do this anymore" I cry and try to wipe my tears away.

"Vi- I mean, never mind- you are my best friend, okay. No matter if you wanna be a girl or not. I support you in everything" he says as he pulls me in for a side hug. I slightly laugh as I lean into him. "Though I'm very confused as to what this all means" he says honestly.
I sigh as I explain to him what trans is as best as I can. I tell him how the thoughts started and how I'd been keeping this to myself for so long.

"Please don't tell anyone, not even Wilbur." I say quietly as we walk back to his house.
"Aren't you meeting him tomorrow?" He asks. I nod "yea, I just don't want it to be real you know. He called me his little s-sister. I don't wanna ruin it all"

"You know he wouldn't care" he says as we walk closer and closer to his house. I shrug, not really wanting to think about it. "I don't even have a label! I mean I guess trans... but name, pronouns. I have nothing. Don't need to tell anyone until I have that figured out." We finally arrive and we walk in, greeting Tubbos mum.

"Okay boys, Sylvia dad is gonna pick her up tomorrow morning to go see her friends, but she can stay the night so you can have more time together" she smiles. We smile back and run upstairs to talk more and get settled

-
Wow I like writing this story. This may be the longest chapter.
I really wanna write more angst I have some ideas but idk if y'all would wanna read it so let me know! I'm very hyperfixated on Tommy, Tubbo, and ranboo, but don't wanna write something they wouldn't be comfortable with. No ships but I like to vent though my writing and maybe y'all would wanna read some angsty stuff. Just let me know.
Also mcc was amazing, I watched Ranboo POV and best decision ever lol. I'm so happy he had a good time, and I loved his suit. I had to go to work right after, but got some writing in when I could.
Hope you guys enjoyed ❤️❤️