The Villainess With No Happy Endings

Chapter Thirty-Two - Let Try Once Again

I am Aurelia Giliam, I am hated by my family and I crave to feel any type of love. I am stuck in an endless cycle of trying to get the love of people who I know will never give me it. I am bitter, I am angry. I hate this.

I am Alina. I don't have a last name. My mommy family doesn't want me to have their surname and I hate saying my father's last name as well. I felt love from my mommy, that love of her was so warm and so pure. I wanted to experience that love again so I kept my heart open... Until I reached a point where my heart was broken to a point I couldn't fix it anymore. I met a boy with a kind smile and love for me but... I pushed him away. I lost him. I lost my mommy. It hurts so much. I am so lonely.

My role in this world was the villainess, I was made to suffer so other people could fall in love. Even if I try to change my fate it wouldn't end well for me. I would only suffer and die in the end. I hate this world I was in. I hated the people who were happy because of my suffering.

I wanted to be loved so badly by the family who loved my mommy so much. I did everything in my power to make them love me but they only saw my father. The man who caused my mommy to kill herself. The scum threw away my mommy love without a care in the world. I was just a reminder of why my mommy isn't here anymore.

The only person who I thought understood me didn't care about me as I care about him. I felt something in me break once I realized I was alone in the world where I was made to suffer. I hate that I wasn't allowed to be happy. I hate how the one person who I thought would understand me... looked at me with such cold eyes. I hate him. I hate this world. I hate this crushing feeling in my heart.

I gave up on love once I realized my mommy family would never love me. When I gave up on love someone finally fell in love with me. He was perfect, he saw me. I wanted to love him back so badly but I was scared. I was so scared he would end up hating me as well. I kept pushing him away until... I finally lost him to someone else. Even though I kept telling myself it was for my own good. I think that was the day I finally died. The one person who loved me is gone and I am alone again.

I hate this world I was born in. I hate this world I was born in. Even when I managed to experience a new life where I wasn't Aurelia I still managed to suffer in the end. Maybe it isn't the world's fault, maybe it is my fault. I hate myself so much. I don't want to remember this pain anymore. Just let me forget this pain and suffering like the coward I am. No matter how much I want to feel love... I will only suffer in the end...

I am in a void of darkness, it feels like a place. It is like a home I am coming back to. A lonely home. I am laying flat on my back and I can hear the voice of someone who is so familiar but at the same time completely unfamiliar to me. I could feel myself being grabbed by countless hands as they held me down. They don't have to do that, I don't feel like moving.

I feel a weight suddenly appear on my chest and I see a young girl looking at me with cold eyes. Her appearance is hard to make out, she looks one way but suddenly looks like something else. It is like she is switching between the way she wants to look but can't settle on an appearance that she likes. Her skin is brown but she looks rather sickly and her skin doesn't look like it sees the sun that much. Her hair is black and short. It isn't a neat type of short hair, it is like someone just cut at the hair with no care at all.

We try to change our fate. Yet we always fail. Why do we always fail? Is it our fault? Is this a punishment for a crime we did? Force to suffer endlessly. Never getting a happy ending.

Her mouth doesn't move as she speaks, it is unsettling but I don't care much about it. I don't care much about anything at the moment. I could feel the hands holding me down on the ground increase their hold on my body. It hurts but I just ignore the pain my body is suddenly feeling at the moment. The young girl slowly brings her face closer to mine and I am just staring at those cold eyes. I feel like I am just looking into an endless void.