It Could Be A Whole Lot Worse Sweetheart

Chapter 5: Guilt

We finally got back to the sanctuary and all I wanted to do was go back into the room given to me and sleep. Forget everything that happened. "Dwight take Daryl back to his cell. Maddy you come with me back to your room" Negan said. I felt so bad that while Daryl was sleeping in a cell, I was in this room that had running water. Negan walked me back to my room in this hell hole. "I think one of my wives dropped off enough clothes for the next few days" Negan said. "Why the hell do you kiss on me if you have wives" I asked annoyed. "Oh my lord sweetheart are you jealous of my wives cause you don't need to worry you are number one on the list" he said with his evil grin. "Let me make myself clear. I am not your girlfriend. This is not my home. I am not number one on your list of whores in the other room. Nothing is between us. All you are to me is the douche bag who killed my friends and has threatened my dad and brother multiple times. Get over yourself you stuck up self centered bastard" I said walking into my room. He shut and locked the door and I began to break down. All my feelings were escaping me. It sucked and never has it happened like this. I was usually able to let out my feelings in the form of cutting or not eating. But I new there were no sharp objects in this room and I had no food to eat in general so my go to was to cry. All I wanted was to be back with my family and for everything to go back to how it was. At lest for them to let me and Daryl go back to our home and live our time left there. I laid in the bed and cried myself to sleep. 

I woke up to the door opening. It was Davey and he had food with him. "Negan wanted me to bring this to you" he said. He sat it on the foot of the bed. I was still pissed from last night and still had some built up emotions in me. I didn't want to eat. I kicked the tray onto the floor. "You bitch" he said grabbing and pulling my hair. "Nah. If Negan won't deal with you. Then I will" he said pushing me onto the bed. He grabbed my wrist and tied me to the bed frame. I was kicking. "Help" I yelled out. "You bitch" he said ripping my shirt off. I sat on this bed only in my black bra when the door burst open. I fell off the side of the bed with only my wrist still up. I could see clearly what was going on and anyone who came in could see me perfectly. In came Simon, Negan and another man I didn't know. "Davey what seems to be the problem" Negan asked. "Nothing. Everything is fine" Davey said worried. "Oh really. Cause I see Maddy tied to the bed frame with no shirt on crying and you have her ripped shirt in hand" Negan said. "I- uh. Someone before me had come in here and I heard her scream. Wanted to come help" Davey said. I hated that he was lying like that. "Oh you wanted to come. Just not in the way you may be thinking" Negan said walking over to me. "Sweetheart... I need you to tell me what really happened" he said crouching down in front of me. "He came in with food. I didn't want it. Kicked the tray. He tied me to the bed and said I would be sorry. Ripped my shirt off. I screamed and you guys came in" I said glaring at Davey. Negan nodded. "Yeah figured that was the story. Seeing the tray and and you." Negan said. "Simon, Fat Joey take Rapey Davey down stairs. Have Dwighty boy start up the iron and gather everyone. It's gonna be a real fun time" Negan said. Simon and the new guy Joey took Davey and left closing the door behind him. All that was left was me and Negan. He sighed and looked at me. He walked over to the table and got me another shirt. "Sorry that Davey did that to you" he said walking over to me. He untied my hand and I stood up. "Wouldn't be the first" I said. "What do you mean" he asked. I sighed. "A long time ago my people were hold up at a prison. It was where we stayed for a while but a group came at us. A man named Philip who called himself The Governor. He kidnapped Glenn and Maggie. Assaulted Maggie for information and eventually got ahold of me. Except no one was there to stop Philip. His new girlfriend was in the other room and her daughter. That was when I started to resort to not eating and self harm and other things." I said. "Wow. I am so sorry to hear that. If I was in charge that man would have been killed and made an example of. To keep a civilized community or anything you need rules. Which is why Davey isn't getting away with this" Negan said. "Thank you. Sorry for being such a bitch last night. I was tired and confused" I said finally putting the other shirt on. "I understand. Just try not to make a habit of it" he said. "You never answered me though. Why do you have wives" I asked. "They had a choice to work for points or be my wives and basically get everything handed to them. My man workers like Simon and Dwight that's how it works. They got that same choice. Technically we are not really married. My wife is gone has been for years. They are more like I don't know how to explain it. I wouldn't say sex buddies but a little more then that." he said. I nodded not really knowing what to say. "What are you going to do to him" I asked next. Negan chuckled and walked forward kissing me. I hated that I let him do this but I truly didn't want to stop him. "Trust me sweetheart. He isn't gonna touch you" Negan said after pulling away. He walked towards the door and I followed. I had no idea what to expect. 

We got to a big door and I saw a crowd of people. "Watch this darling" he said. He walked in with his bat and everyone in the room except his wives got down on a knee. "You don't have to worry about this. But they respect me. It's awesome" he said. I was in awe. "Now. Usually I do not have everyone down here for a meeting at once. However today is that one exception." Negan said. He looked at me and nodded for me to follow him. "As you all know we recently came into another community that works for us. They are called Alexandria. Daryl came from there and so did Maddy. Rules are still rules. Just because we have a new person home with us does not mean the rules are off limits." Negan said. "Davey here decided to break one of those rules. And oh boy it was a crucial one" He said. "Maddy. I know you only know a few people in this crowd like me and Dwight, Simon, Daryl, a few of my wives and of course Davey but do you mind saying what happened" he said. I always hated talking in front of people. "I uh." I said before taking a deep breath. "I'll just say it. Maddy is staying in one of the rooms and Davey was supposed to bring her food. He did but she didn't want it and so she had some built in anger from previous things and kicked the tray. The tray fell and Davey tied Maddy to the bed ripped her shirt off and said she would pay for that" Negan said. Daryl stared at me in shock. "As you know we do not except that behavior." Negan said walking over to him. He stood him up and looked right at him. "I was going to burn the side of your face. But this abuse of the rules doesn't deserve that punishment." Negan said. Davey nodded. Then in one swift movement Negan pushed him into the furnace. I looked at the ground not wanting to watch the man burn. His screams filled the room and everyone was in shock. "Let this be a reminder that the rules go for everyone" Negan said. He walked towards me and led me back up to my room. "Well that was productive and we still have a lot of time left in the day to do more shit" Negan laughed. "Tell me darling why did you freeze up back there." he asked next. "I have social anxiety. Always have. I thought I was over it after being with my people but I guess not." I said following him. "Hmm" he hummed. "Ok I have a lot to do so I am bringing you back to your room. When someone brings you lunch I suggest trying to eat it. I don't think anyone wants a repeat of what just happened but if it happens again just scream like you did someone will come and I will be there" he said unlocking my door. "Thank you" I said. "Uh huh" he said letting me in and shutting the door behind him. I laid on the bed thinking about everything that just happened. Negan was so over protective of me and I had no idea why. 

It was late in the evening and I decided to take a shower. I hated that I was so comfortable in this life style but I was. I got out and got redressed and just sat on the bed not knowing what to do at the moment. I heard the door opening and Negan walked in. "Just came by to check on you. Didn't think you would be up still" he said shutting the door behind him. I nodded and he sat next to me. "How you doing" he asked. "Fine" I said looking at him. He was looking right at me. I don't know what I was thinking. I leaned forward and kissed him. I hated that I was slowly giving in to him. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me back. It was like we were teenagers making out. I felt guilty but loved it at the same time.