It Could Be A Whole Lot Worse Sweetheart

Chapter 14: Planned

I woke up the next morning in Negan's room. I couldn't even remember what happened. I tried to sit up and noticed the severe headache that I had. I was hungover. Which means that me and Negan both got drunk and had sex. "Fuck" I said sitting up. He was already gone. I got dressed in my old clothes and walked back to my room. I changed into fresh clothes and laid on my bed. I heard the door open but had no energy to check to see who it was. "I'm assuming you don't feel as good as you look" Negan said. "How much did I drink" I asked not wanting to open my eyes. "I can't really remember to much of last night but I want to say between the two of us cause it was only us we finished two bottles of wine and had some shots" he said. "Jesus. I haven't drank like that in a while" I said struggling to sit up. "Well from what little I can remember you looked like you enjoyed yourself last night" he said smiling. I rolled my eyes and then rubbed them. "Anyway's I noticed you weren't still sleeping and wanted to make sure you didn't like pass out somewhere" he said. I stood up and grabbed some paper. "What are you doing" he asked. "I'm going to get some stuff ready. Get a small plan of what my dad might be thinking. Cause he will be planning another attack" I said. "Fair enough. Well I will leave you to your work" he said walking towards me. He grabbed my waist and kissed me. I kissed him back and he left. i stood there for a second before I started to question everything. What where me and Negan doing? Were we together? Was I just a sex toy to him? Is this whole thing just made up? I mean yeah he is fine as hell and I will not deny that every second that I am with him I love it but if he is going to treat me as someone to just fuck whenever he is horny just because his wives aren't good enough then I would be willing to drop it all. I sat down and began to plan everything out. 

What if my dad goes here though. Then Dwight would have to stay back as Negan and that group got ready for the attack. But if he goes here then we could all be dead in a matter of minutes if Dwight doesn't pull the trigger at the exact second he passes by. 

I was lost in my planning when there was a knock on my door. I didn't have enough time to answer it before Negan opened it. The thoughts I had from early came back. "Meeting in about an hour. Just letting you know" he said walking over to the desk shutting the door behind him. "Alright" I said looking back at the plans. "What do you have so far" he asked. "A lot. There are about a thousand different ways that my dad could attack us and about a hundred ways he could kill us" I said. "Damn. See it's good having you with us because honestly I would have never even of thought of half of this" he said hovering over me. He kissed my head before walking away. "What are we doing" I said not turning around. "What do you mean" he said. I could feel him starring at me. I stood up and looked directly at him. "You and me. What is it. Am I just a person for you to fuck cause your wives don't do it good enough. Is there something more then that. Are we just friends. Do you like me. What is it" I said. He was silent. "What do you want there to be" he asked. "It's not about how I want things to be. Whatever the hell you say is between us I will listen to. But I am not going to let you continue to just have sex with me when ever you feel. I mean hell if your that fucking horny you have wives. Let them do it for once" I said. He was still silent. "I'm gonna ask you this again. What do you want between us." he said again. I sighed and looked down for a second. "I love you Negan. And I'm not going to let you use me for your enjoyment. And if that's what you think this is then I am going to put a stop to it." I said tears coming to my eyes. He was silent again. We both were. "See you in an hour" he said leaving. He left and shut the door. Tears now pouring out of my face. "God damn it" I said sitting on my bed. I wiped my face and tried to pull myself together. 'He doesn't look at you like that. This isn't a big thing' I kept saying to myself. But that was hard to accept. I had to though. "Fuck" I said looking around. I grabbed my gun and knife and began to just walk around to make time go bye faster. Leaving my room I passed Negan. I did my best not to even make eye contact with him. It was difficult though. 

The hour flew by and I made my way up to the meeting room. I walked in with Laura and Dwight. Walking to where I was sitting avoiding looking up at Negan. "Alright. Rick and the piss patrol decided to declare war on us. Which means that we won't be getting supplies from Alexandria anymore. Probably not Kingdom either. Maybe even Hilltop" he said. "I can go talk to people of Hilltop later tonight." I said. Negan glared at me for a second. "Sounds good" he said. "What if they come here to attack." Dwight asked. As if it was on call gun shots were fired outside. "Well let's find out" Negan said standing up. There was a door right there and it led out. Negan led us and then Dwight. Then me and the rest. "I'm sorry. I was in a meeting" he said calmly. I saw everyone. My dad. Daryl. Maggie. Everyone. "We can end this. The only person who had to die is you. You die and all this goes away" my dad called out. "That is not going to happen. And if you have forgotten. Your daughter is a very valuable resource for us. Not only was she willing to help track down Daryl she also is the person who goes to Hilltop. Which on that note. All of you from should turn back. We gave you life" Negan said. I watched Simon come out with Gregory. "The Hilltop stands with Negan. Turn around and go back. Anyone who wants to fight will not be welcomed back" Gregory announced. No one left. "The hilltop stands with-"he began to say. "The Hilltop stands with Maggie" someone yelled out. "You have already lost" my dad said. I was distracted as I noticed people moving around. "Just turn around now. Go back to your communities. Pay attention to your other kids" I said looking at my dad. He starred at me. Everyone did. "I'm not afraid to kill you if your with him. I am not afraid to kill any of you. So surrender" my dad said. "Are you going to make me count" my dad called out. "10". Silence. "9" silence. "8" silence. "7" silence. "6" however this time he grabbed his gun and fired at us. I ducked down and took my gun out also firing. We all fought. Everything seemed like a blur until someone pulled me back inside the building. 

The guns finally stopped and I noticed Negan wasn't inside. "Where is Negan" I asked. We all looked around and noticed the walkers everywhere. "He is probably dead" Dwight said. This hurt. If Negan was dead what would we do. "Don't tell anyone about Negan. If he dead we will figure something out. No one knows about him except us. Make sure guns are loaded and we have an escape plan just incase we need it" I said walking away. I went back to my room and sat on my bed. Negan might really be dead. And I'm supposed to not care. But I really love him.