a quiet mind | huang renjun

Chapter 27

Renjun's eyes lit up.

"You can do that? Kun, tell me how to do it. You'd know right? You've experienced a whole history with the time you've carried out duties as an Angel" Renjun grabbed Kun's wrist, shaking it in anticipation. Kun could not even bare to lift his lip. Renjun's joy was wrong, so so wrong.

"A soul for a soul" Kun explained "A good soul"

Renjun fell into silence.

"If I had taken half of a good soul, does that mean I could be half human?"

"No. You have to exchange it. You take the human's soul and you give your soul to the human. But...us Angel's have the soul equivalent to a corpse. Because that's what we are. We don't have the lively and free spirited soul that humans have. We have the left overs. And feeding our leftovers to a human, means death. Taking a human's soul without exchange is only energy. In life, there are no free benefits without sacrifice" Kun was clearly uncomfortable through his explanation

"Oh" Suddenly, everything didn't sound as smooth.

"The idea of stealing a soul may be the most gruelling part of it all. It's the same as watching your loved ones get a knife driven into their chest and you were the one behind the knife" Kun bit his lip "It feels like every bit of your being ripped and crushed. Stripped of your heart and replaced with melancholy. Grief and sorrow, torment and remorse. It all just climbs up at you and tortures every limb in your body"

Kun continued, his eyes evidently flashing a tape of memory before his mind "A word of advice. Becoming human have already destroyed plenty, i don't want it to destroy you too"

Renjun didn't seem to believe him "The process ends in a second right? Plus...I might even see them again if they become-"

The phone rung. Renjun fished inside his pocket, placing it against his ear as he left an apologetic smile with Kun. But the moment he heard a single sentence from the phone, his heart dropped.

"Sorry, I've got to go" Renjun apologised with a low bow, and frantically rushed out the door. Kun sighed.

Sometimes, you don't know what pain looks like until you've stood yourself in front of the mirror and begged for the tears to stop

—

"Xinyi, what happened?" Renjun stumbled into the hospital, where Xinyi was sat against the long row of plastic blue seats. Xinyi stood up, wordlessly nodding to the open hospital door. Renjun rushed inside the room, his hands falling onto the ledge of the bed. Panic arose to leave droplets of sweat down his forehead

"Mireu, are you OK?" Renjun brushed his hands over Mireu's cheek, trying to find a wound across his gentle skin.

"I'm fine" Mireu sat up in which Renjun immediately forced him back down.

"I was out on a mission and then I came back and the piece of trash was on the floor" Xinyi entered the room with her arms folded. Renjun didn't say anything, his chin down and hands tightly clenched into a fist. Abruptly, Renjun threw his head up and released the most aggression driven tone she's ever heard him have

"And you just left him by himself!?" He bellowed, catching Xinyi off guard.

"He's left by himself multiple times. Why is this any different" Xinyi scoffed.

"He's a kid! I told you I was going to be out for a bit, assuming you'd have common sense and stay at home to take care of him. You didn't even say a single word about having to leave the house. You said yesterday you were staying home!" Renjun's voice only grew, angrily piercing his eyes through to hers "Yes you have money, yes you have the wealth. But that heart of yours is nothing but a rock"

"It was an emergency mission. I'm their boss; I take responsibility for my gang, not for some random kid you picked up because you felt bad. I have a job to do, Renjun. Of course, you wouldn't understand just how fucking hard it is keep yourself alive without anyone to be your anchor. You died in school, isn't that what you said? Hah, someone who hasn't even experienced their adult years telling me to take responsibility." She drew her face closer to his, sending a chill down his spine. But this time, he didn't so much as to even flinch.

"Don't use your title as an Angel to think everything you say is right" Xinyi spat. Renjun chuckled, a humorous chuckle. He took her wrist and dragged her outside, trampling along the corridors to throw them out to the garden in the hospital.

"You think your life is worth being pitied?" Renjun exclaimed "Look around you, Xinyi. Everyone one deserves pity"

Xinyi rolled her eyes, trying to take a step away when Renjun jerked her back.

"You see that patient over there? She's suffering from cancer and her family can barely pay the bills. You see that person on the motorbike? He does takeout delivery for more hours than he sleeps because he had to drop out of school due to a lack of money in his household. That woman pushing the wheelchair of an old grandma? Single mother and barely able to have time to come to her kids school performances. That nurse. Fought so hard for her dream university to become a surgeon but didn't make it because she lost her brother in her last year of high school. That man in the suit. The homeless grandpa. The stray dog. No one is living an easy life" Renjun whipped around to face Xinyi "So don't act like you're the only one walking through hell"

Xinyi fell quiet. She blinked at him a couple times, then escaped his grip and walked back inside the hospital. Renjun let out a massive sigh; he had never spilt all his inner anger at someone before.

Renjun walked back in, heading back to the corridor outside Mireu's room as a nurse and a doctor came out from Mireu's room. They greeted eachother.

"We still couldn't find out the cause for his sudden outburst. So we recommend that he stays in the hospital until we find a lead. You will need to pay hospital fees and any extra medication he might need to take during his stay. This is for his good. Who knows what would happen to him if this were to happen again" The doctor turned the clipboard around to Renjun "Could you write down your relationship with the child?"

Renjun hesitated. He wasn't sure what to write. He could not confirm Mireu's identity in any way. At that second, Xinyi took the clipboard into her hand and scribbling a couple words on it.

"I'm his step-mum's sister. His parents died in a fire and all their passports were burned. You can do a DNA test but we don't have any DNA relations since his parents had a divorce. If you really want to test DNA-"

"That wouldn't be necessary. You can pay the fees at the office" The doctor nodded, taking the sheets and leaving. Xinyi nodded back, opening her bag and taking her wallet out of her bag. Renjun gripped her wrist.

"Xinyi the money..."

"You have none. I'll pay" She deadpanned, and left the room. Renjun watched her walk away, beady eyed and puzzled emotions swarming his chest. He heard a soft thump behind him. Renjun turned around.

Mireu was stood at the door, hands on the door frame and head barely peaking out.

And the boy, only 9 years of age, had one single trail of tears down his cheek.