Reflection

XXI

Reign "Ace" Armani

Laying down with a flow of tears repeatedly covering my face, i stare at my fathers painting on the wall wondering if my life would be different if he was here. I wish so badly that i can just see my dad, talk to him once again because for the first time in a long time i'm lost.

I don't know what to do nor how to handle all of my emotions. My father was my best-friend, he was everything to me even though i heard countless amount of stories about him being a monster he was my hero.

Cillian reminds me so much of that goofy loving spirit my father had, so i guess that's apart of what made me fall in love with him so rapidly. Now i just get this sense that our relationship is crashing down and i don't know how to feel.

I want forget about what had happened and everything about that night but a constant reminder is my dead unborn child.

Snapping out of my thoughts i notice my tears wetting up my pillow. Sitting up to flip the pillow over, i hear a knock on my door before it fully opened revealing Melissa.

"Hey girly..how you feeling?" She says, giving me a small smile.

"I'm fine" I reply, watching her face contort into a sympathetic look.

"Would you stop feeling bad for me!"  I snapped, as her face turned full of shock from my outburst being that i haven't spoken that loud in a while.

Suddenly she starts to smile very hard, "Okay well come on down to the kitchen miss attitude so we can get you some food." She says pulling me up.

Groaning, i carefully make my way down to my spacious kitchen with the help of Mel. Sitting down on one of my plain white stools, i cross my feet together while tapping my fingers on the marble island.

"What do you want to eat?" She ask me.

"......"

"So you don't wanna talk now?" She ask with an amused look plastered onto her face.

I continued to blankly stare at her while tilting my head.

"You gon eat something cause i will not have my best-friend walking around looking like a skeleton .. cause sweetie your two missed meals away from that being your fate." She says, shrugging her shoulders making me chuckle.

"You can make me some chicken noodle soup but definitely not from scratch because face it Mel you can't cook." I say laughing, making her glare at me.

"Ouch"

Suddenly my heart stopped as i turned my head to the door way of the kitchen.

There he was standing while smiling, holding a bouquet of white roses. He walks closer to me wiping my tears that i didn't even realize i shed.

"What you crying for?" He questions as i take in a sharp breath. I haven't seen this man since the morning i rushed out of his house, that was six days ago.

"Why are you here?" I ask him.

"I missed you" He says, caressing the side of my face causing me to jerk it from his grasp.

"Melissa can you give us a minute alone." He said as a question but it came off as a demand.

"Helllll no." She replies making him clench his jaws in irritation.

"Mel can you please give us a minute?" I ask.

"Are you sure?" She ask, making me nod my head for confirmation.

Watching her walk out the kitchen, i turn my head back to Cillian once seeing her out of site.

"Where were you the past six days?" I ask him.

"I was handling business." He says, simply while attempting to rub my thighs before i moved them away from him.

"Look i brought you some of your favorite roses" He says pushing them towards me.

Taking the roses, i smell them before tossing the bouquet on the ground watching the roses fall out. Getting up i start to walk away but before i could get out the kitchen Cillian yanks my body back making me hiss in pain.

Instantly i see his face soften up, "What's wrong? Did that hurt you?" He says looking remorseful.

Wiping a tear from my cheek, i shake my head 'no'. Watching him reach out to me i accidentally flinched making him look confused. He pulled me by my hand into a hug while rubbing my head softly.

"Baby are you scared of me?" He asked with a worried expression.

"No"

"Are you sure?" He ask making me nod my head before he kissed my forehead.

"Now what's wrong?"

Our relationship.

Looking up at him, i wondered if he wanted me to answer the obvious but instead my mind went to the miscarriage.

"Can we sit down?" I ask causing him to carefully help me to the living room.

Sitting down on the plush white couch, my mind was plagued with how I'm going to tell him our baby died.

"So you know after everything happened i ran an-"

"Yea and you took my fucking car." He says interrupting me.

Staring at him blankly i decide to finish, " Well long story short i got into a car crash and i lost our baby.".

Waiting for his reaction i was surprised when i didn't receive anything but a blank stare, not even a hint of emotion. I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking or if he was thinking of anything at all.

"This is your fault." He says, making me pause wondering if i heard him correctly.

"Excuse me"

"You heard me..our baby died because of you." He says, causing tears to flow down my face.

"Are you serious?" I asked trying to keep from breaking.

"I'm so deadass" He says simply.

"No you can't because i've been here alone with my thoughts for SIX DAYS grieving with the lost of o-our child while you were out doing god knows what. Y-you cheated on me, hit me, and then forced me to do drugs so i-i'm sorry if i wanted to be away from you." I scream while full blown crying.

Quickly he comes closer to my side pulling me into a hug that i try to fight off but eventually give into.

"Shhhhhhhhh i'm sorry baby..i'm so so sorry okay?" He mumbles into my hair while rubbing my back trying to get me to calm my cries down.

I sit in his embrace comfortably for about twenty minutes before he lifts my face up to stare in my eyes.

"I have a surprise for you..it might make you feel better." He says smiling at me before giving me a peck on the lips.

I just hope that his surprise lightens my day because i really need a pick me up.