The X-Factor Experience | L.S

Twenty One: February

Just as Harry walked out of the bathroom and back into his room, he made the mistake to turn his head when he passed the mirror, accidentally looking straight into it.

He was met with the sad eyes of a stranger. Oily curls sticking to his uncared for skin and dark bags under his foggy eyes.

He hated to admit this, but his life had only gotten downhill ever since he went for that walk in the park. And now the days were getting lighter and longer, the birds were starting to chirp in the morning again and flowers were blossoming everywhere.

The X Factor season was coming to an end.

He was starting to realise that he had been in this state for so long. And yet, every day went by in a rush, spent in his room.

God. He rubbed his face, disgusted with himself. How could he let it get to this? And it wasn't like he was even sad about being eliminated anymore. He was just sad. Sad because of the sadness.

It also wasn't even like he was alone in this. He just rejected everyone who tried to call him out on his instability, not wanting to face the reality of it.

He couldn't recognize himself anymore. Who was that mad person in the mirror? It wasn't Harry. He used to be this bubbly boy, but he hadn't even smiled on his birthday this year.

Sudden realisation and motivation washed over him. He was sick of being depressed. Looking into that mirror was like a slap in the face. He wanted to be better. Not just for his mum, but for himself. Obsessing over someone who is unavailable was not going to help him with that. He had to get a grip of his life. Get his shit together. Take control.

Harry took a look at his room and felt himself start to care about it being a mess. The disgust and shame he felt with himself was his drive force as Harry started to actually clean up his room, picking up every single piece of dirty cloth and tossed it in the laundry basket. He opened the window for once to get in some fresh air.

He sneezed. The pollen came early this year. He put on some feel good music on his speaker and actually felt himself start to enjoy cleaning up his room. As he headed downstairs to fetch the vacuum cleaner, his mum was standing in the kitchen, giving him a proud, knowing smile which he returned giddily.

That only got him more eager to make her prouder. He wanted to show her his room when he was finished.

And he was, at the end of the day. Like, you could actually see the floor for the first time in weeks. You could literally walk around the room without tripping over something.

He wiped the sweat off on his forehead and decided to take a shower.

The hot water hit his body in streams, unwinding his tensed muscles. It almost felt like he was meditating, standing in there for almost thirty minutes.

He stepped out with a towel draped around his waist as he dried his hair and body. It was still damp when he pulled on a pair of pants and trousers.

A smile tugged at his face when he entered back into his clean bedroom. Okay, cleaner. It wasn't spick and span, but it was definitely a lot better than before.

Harry noticed the toy microphone on his floor, going to pick it up. His mum had gotten him that as a kid when he'd just found interest in singing.

Little Harry was so happy to get that gift, using it everyday until middle school.

He hovered his fingers over the yellow plastic, eyebrows furrowing. He hadn't dared sing a note since he was sent home. He just hadn't considered it. Not until now.

It couldn't hurt to just try it out, could it?

He attempted it, hesitantly and quietly letting out the first line of Over The Rainbow. His voice came out all rusty after not having sung for some time, surprising even himself. He shook his head and started over.

"Somewhere over the rainbow,"

That was slightly better.

He continued more confidently.

"Way up high
In the land
That I heard once
Once in a lullaby."

He hummed out the rest of the song whilst putting on a shirt and combing out his hair with his fingers.

He felt proud of himself. Now that he had cleaned his room and taken care of his body properly, maybe it was time to start socialising again.

He grabbed his phone which was fully charged and skimmed over his messages with Lucas. Or rather, the messages Lucas has sent him which he had respectfully ignored. He felt horrible. But he couldn't deal with that now. Not when he was in such a nice mood. He knew he was a terrible friend, don't remind him.

Harry found Niall's contact and pressed it. It rang two times before he picked up on the other end.

"Hi, Niall. I was wondering if you were still up for spending time with me?"