The Alpha's Other Woman

26 Regrets

Carrie

"And I wasn't truly satisfied with my life as acting luna of Greenwoods."

I managed to choke the words out through my constricting throat, and now all I wanted was to run far away and avoid that look of understanding on his handsome face. I was such a fool for falling for Asshole Dane's charms. How had I been so brainless?

"Acting luna?" He was very still, and it made me nervous.

"Yes," I agreed. "Since neither I nor Alpha Dane could find our mates and we were getting older, he suggested that I become his chosen luna." I was pleased at how calm my voice sounded considering the way I was shaking.

I couldn't look at Jason because I was too afraid of his reaction. I didn't want to see his disgust or pity that I had been so easily fooled by pretty promises.

He took in a deep breath, but his expression was hard to read. "Then why did I find you as a rogue and not with your pack?"

I inhaled as well, mostly to buy myself some time. "Well, we were in a relationship for a couple of years, while I did the luna's duties. We were actually at the point where he proposed, but then he found his true mate, and he broke it off with me."

"Did you run away?" Jason asked. His voice was calmer than I expected, and the tone calmed me in return.

"No. I just moped around. Then he ordered me to teach his mate how to do the job. I did it for as long as I could stand it. Finally I was too frustrated to do it anymore and told him off. She overheard and realized we had been in a relationship. He said some really dismissive things about me..."

Now, Jason was starting to get angry. I could feel it through the bond and his body was rife with tension. "What did he say?" I didn't dare not answer him.

"That I meant nothing, that I was just a replacement for her while he was waiting."

Jason growled slightly, the first sign of his angry wolf I had ever seen. Not even back when I had been deliberately provoking him.

It was hard to admit the stupid thing I did after that. "So, I lost my temper and challenged her for the luna title." I cringed. I sounded like a desperate idiot.

He was still tense, but he smiled a bit. "How did that go?"

I managed to return the smile to him briefly. "I could have beat her. I used to be a scout and tracker before I was acting luna. I'm not that strong, but I am fast, and had experience. I would have guessed Heidi was a cheerleader, except it takes a lot of work and dedication to do that, and I don't think she has it in her. Of course Asshole Dane—"

"Asshole Dane?"

"Sorry, I mean Alpha Dane—that's just my petty nickname for him—trained her, but there was no way she could have overcome my abilities. I didn't even want to be his acting luna at that point. After I calmed down, I just wanted not to be kicked from my pack, and I figured I'd see if she could keep the title after I renounced it."

He nodded. "Defend your pride and then step back, I get it. But you're not there, so what happened?"

"While we were fighting, my vision filled with a flash of light, and I couldn't see anything just long enough for her to force me to submission. I almost thought that Alpha Dane had sabotaged me, but I don't think he could have messed with my mind like that. He's also a real stickler for rules. Samantha was worried that I'd had an aneurism or something." I smiled sadly, missing my friend. We'd never been apart so long. Even when she had been off apprenticing for her job, she'd at least come home for long weekends or holidays. I shook off the feeling. "Anyway, once I lost the fight, he banished me from the pack. And here I am."

Finished, I poked at the cold food on my plate to avoid looking at my mate. He was quiet and all I could feel was his anger. He wasn't showy like some alphas, but when he got like this I could feel his power radiating. I wanted to shrink away, but I forced myself to stay put.

It was too late for us to break it off without severe pain for both of us, but...

Finally, he spoke. And I waited for the worst.

"I was joking when I said I would kill Greg. But if I cross paths with Asshole Dane, I'm probably going to beat the shit out of him."

I met his eyes with surprise. He was trying to make jokes, right now? That was a joke, right? Wasn't it? "You can't kill him, he's an established pack leader."

He raised an eyebrow.

"There's a good chance you will cross paths with him eventually, and you can't do anything rash. Your pack can't afford an incident like that."

He smiled grimly. "I won't, but if he disrespects you..."

He was talking like I might actually be around to be potentially disrespected. He wasn't going to reject me now? I risked asking, "You're not angry with me?"

Jason grabbed me by the arm and pulled me around the table so that I was sitting on his lap. He buried his face in my neck. He smelled good, and I leaned into him. "Do I wish you'd never have given up waiting and hadn't gotten involved with someone else? Of course. But I wish a lot of things, Carrie. I have so many regrets. I could have set more patrols on the night Stonemason attacked Glenhaven. I could have run one myself. I could have not failed to protect our luna, because when she was killed, we lost the alpha, and with that we lost any chance to win the battle. I regret all the deaths I didn't prevent, Carrie. It was all my fault."

I tightened my hold on him as he continued. "I wish I had found you sooner, so that you would never have felt like you wouldn't find me, so I wouldn't have felt the same. But at the same time I can't regret that, because if I had found you sooner, you would probably have been there at Glenhaven when the attack came. You might have been dead, if I had found you. You were safe, even if it was at his side."

He pulled back and stared into my eyes, his own glowing golden with the presence of his wolf. "But if he touches you again, if he dares to treat you with less than the respect you deserve as my mate, I will not be responsible for the consequences. You're mine."

My stomach fluttered at his declaration, and all my misgivings disappeared like they never were there at all. I leaned forward and kissed him with all the love that was growing inside me.

He was mine, too, and I could hold onto that through the difficulties that would surely come.

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Author's Note

Posted two chapters today! (I think I missed one somewhere in here? 'Cause now the story here is even with Inkitt again.)