15 Anticipation

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Carrie

I had come full circle, again secretly living among the humans where I had begun to build a life. It was as if I had never even met my mate. I went to work, I went home, and repeated my familiar routines, like I was on autopilot.

It wasn't that I missed my mate. I didn't know him. Our time together had been brief and fractious.

But something was missing.

I helped a red-haired customer with getting a large box down from a shelf. I was pretty sure he was a fae from his scent, which was unusual in the store, but I didn't say anything, and he didn't give any indication that he knew I was a werewolf. It was a bit of a weird moment, two supernaturals in a mundane setting surrounded by a sea of humans who didn't know our nature.

He thanked me, and went on his way. I went to the back to clock out.

My gregarious red-headed human co-worker, Amanda, caught me as soon as I walked in the door. I pasted on a smile for her benefit.

"So, do you feel like coming out tonight?" she asked. She had her own issues, but she was spunky and outgoing and had refused not to be my friend, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it.

It wasn't the first time she'd tried to get me to come out, and I wasn't feeling it, now more than ever with my wolf so depressed. I didn't want to be surrounded by sweaty drunk humans. "Sorry, can't tonight?"

I felt a bit bad refusing, because I was pretty sure she was trying to do me a favour inviting me. It would be so much easier if I could just tell her the truth about everything like I would have told Samantha if she had been here.

"Oh? Boyfriend again?" she asked with a knowing smirk.

I smiled back conspiratorially, although the question knifed me in the chest. I invented Greg to get another guy who had been hitting on me off my back, but Greg turned out to be a great excuse to get out of any number of things. He wasn't that exciting, but he did travel a lot for work so he couldn't come to any social engagements. Over time, Greg had developed a number of likes and dislikes and I had to be careful he did not contradict himself.

For all I knew, my nameless mate might actually be called Greg, I thought with irritation. My wolf whimpered in my head. She wanted me to go back to him.  "Yeah, he wants to see me tonight." If only that was true about my true mate.

She looked at me curiously, and I hoped she didn't catch the drop in my mood. I forced a smile.

She returned it. "You're so cute. I'd love to meet him."

"Yeah, maybe one day," I agreed vaguely. I pulled off my work shirt and put it in my locker. I was glad the day was over because my wolf was making me more and more edgy.

I went to my car as quickly as I could manage without drawing much human attention. Through observation, trial, and error I had learned how to be fairly inconspicuous, and I used those skills to keep my head down and remain unnoticed until I got home.

—————

I enjoyed three more days of my renewed freedom.

If one could call living with a depressed wolf half enjoyable.

My wolf was increasingly a miserable mess, and I could not stop myself from thinking about the stubborn brick wall fate had tried to stick me with. She was bringing me down and making dealing with the human customers excruciatingly difficult. I had no appetite and ate only to ward off the pangs of hunger.

Even though I did not care about that stranger who was my mate in the slightest, she was well and truly fixated on him.

It was actually worse than when that jerk alpha discarded me, because back then I had my wolf's steady strength to fall back on. She had been upset, but it had stemmed from her territorial pride and her love of pack, not like this.

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