I WAS REINCARNATED INTO THE BODY OF RAPSCALLION PRINCESS

K A B A N A T A 5

Her Journal

I met him first.

I still remember that day, for the first time I saw him. He was looking at the sky at that time. I don't know why, but he seems so sad.

Yes. It is not my first time seeing him at the banquet. Maybe, yeah! That was the first I met him in adolescence form.

But, I met him when we were just a kid. He was seven, and I was five at that time.

Then, I saw how tears rolled in his eyes. I saw him in his vulnerable state, I saw that first.

My heart ached that time, maybe that was what you called, 'love.'

But, why he doesn't see me first? why didn't I catch his attention first? Mas mahaba pa ata ang pilik-mata ko sa ginawa n'yang pagsulyap sa akin du'n sa naganap na banquet.

That was the last I saw him cry. His emotion was now locked in a little drawer at the back of his mind, and he had forgotten where the key was.

I can't read him. But, unexpectedly she finds the key. She opens the barrier he put

He let her...

that will never be me.

I always regret that I didn't let myself near him. I was scared that he would shoo me away, so decided to watch him from afar.

When he wasn't looking directly at me. I didn't like that. I also had a pride, you know? Pride as a girl.

"Am I such a bad sight that he doesn't want to look at me?"

I repeatedly uttered those words mock hurt every single time.

Still, I can't read him. He was near but too far to reach.

I still wish that he might like me back. How long do I have to wait to convince him, to get rid of that, 'might?'

he did get rid of that, 'might', tho! not because he did like me back but, because of her

he did like someone else, and it wasn't me, it was her...

I think it will always be her. The day I watched him fall for someone else, how his eyes were mesmerized by her beauty,

what a nice view isn't it?

*insert sarcasm*

that was the new definition for, 'what a sight for sore eyes.'

I fell in love slowly, and I didn't realize it until one day, they just turned around and it was there.

Well, that last one is a lie. I fell in love, fast and hard but knew it was impossible. So, I tried to laugh it off.

'it seems so foolish for me, to beat my heart beat fast. Too young for me to fall in love so easily.'

One thing, I'd realize, "he's the moon and I am the dust..."

"I don't know how dumb I was that I tried to reach the moon, even though, I know I can't"

I can't help but stares at them. Who's now dancing like a lover. They'd never leave each other eyes. Na para bang nag-uusap ang mga 'yon at nahihirapang alisin ang tingin sa isa't-isa.

Galit na naman ang puso ko.

It was my birthday but, does he need to know? from the happiest day of my life to the saddest day of my life

I turned the page, and read the next one.

The subject said "Letter To One Year Later Me".

Dear one year later Seana Silberio,

It's 8 January 2015, two days before your 18th birthday. I hope you are still alive and well.

You have been watching this boy for quite some time now, and began to fall in love, but always in denial for fear that your heart will break. But do you remember how your heart decided that, yes, you have indeed fallen in love with Prince Devour.

Remember the plans you have for your imaginary dates with him? Haha, even I'm thinking of one now. Imaginary date, that is. Because no matter how much I love him right now, a date is almost as impossible, as him liking me back.

A date that we'll enjoy together. I will make sure he will smile at me in his brightest that rarest to see. And I think, his smile will steal the sunrise's shine. Being with him is the only thing that matters to me. Spend one whole day with him, and I will die with no regrets...those dates I've been ogling and dreaming about since my childhood! I think he doesn't like those dates, but, well...it's just imaginary dates. It's not like it's going to happen, so let me just enjoy it as it is.

And then, as the sunset approaches, I will sit together with him on a bench. I will lean my head on his shoulder, and he will not push me away. I will tell him how much I love him, and how I want to stay with him forever.

Cringe may at it seems but I don't care. As I will be the happiest woman on earth after such a date with Prince Devour.

Although right now, and I mean one year ago from the moment you read this, all I can do is imagine this wonderful date. It hurts. My chest hurts. I bet I will cry myself to sleep again later...

Sincerely,

One year ago Seana Silberio

And I wasn't even surprised to see my eyes glistening with tears

'she did love him, how come this girl became the villain in this story?'

Reading her journal makes her the kindest. But then, maybe that love made her the villainous imp.

I close her journal. Sa sobrang kapal nu'n baka hindi ko agad matapos. I want to know Seana better, her thoughts, her feelings, all about her.

Totoo ngang, "Don't judge a book by its cover." tao lang din naman siya, may nararamdaman din.

Hindi naman mahirap mahalin si Seana, e. But then, why does it seem so hard on him? bakit hindi niya kaya?

A date, huh? it was impossible yet imaginable. Tila 'yun nalang ang pinaghahawakan niya.

Once you get a taste of what you're dreaming for. It makes you addicted to it, you'll surely ask for more. And that way, she will probably ask for more. Daydreams can be dangerous things when they come true. Especially, after deemed impossible.