Burning Desire

~Chapter Twenty One~

My anxiety has been really bad the past couple days. It started when we were at the airport the other day leaving Belgium. A fan came up to me and asked for a picture which I happily agreed to, but then they started talking about me winning everything and that they have high hopes for me.

It made me really panic, because a lot of people have such high expectations of me and so does AlphaTauri. But with one wrong move, everything goes downhill.

Another thing that made things worse was that Pierre and I were getting a lot closer. It felt great to have another close friend that I was going to be teammates with, but every time I looked over at Lando, my heart ached.

It's stupid, I know. I pushed away the thoughts of anything happening for so long, that when things actually aren't happening, it hurts. I miss having him around all the time, and texting him daily when we were just next door to each other in the hotels we were staying in. I miss people smirking at us when we were sitting next to each other in a meeting. I just miss him.

Seeing him the past week with this new girl really kills me. I try to put on a brave face when others are around, but it doesn't stop me from hurting on the inside. Ava seems really nice, and he looks really happy. That's all I want for him. I want him to be happy. But him being happy...hurts me.

I still check my phone all the time, waiting for him to text me. I know that's stupid. There's no way he'd text me now. I'm getting better though. I went from checking it every couple minutes, to every couple hours. Feelings are slowly fading, and to be honest, I don't know if I want them to.

My phone dinged and I picked it up eagerly, seeing a message from Pierre.

Pierre: Wan to play Mario Kart?

Isabelle: How are we going to do that?

Pierre: I brought my Nintendo Switch with me

Isabelle: I'm not sure Pierre, I'm a bit tired

Pierre: C'mon Iz, it'll be fun

Isabelle: Do you still have those cookies you

bought the other day?

Pierre: I do :)

Isabelle: Room number?

Pierre: 304

Isabelle: Be there in 5

I dragged myself from my bed and into the bathroom. I changed into a nicer but more comfortable shirt, and tied my hair up in one of my big clips. I slipped my slides on over my socks, grabbing my phone and keys before making my way outside, locking the door.

As I turned around I saw Lando exiting his rom. He leaned against the door and let out a massive sigh. "Thank god" he muttered.

Every part of me wanted to open my door and go back inside. I didn't want to talk to him right now. My anxiety is through the roof and I'm really hoping that hanging out with Pierre will help. Talking to Lando will not.

I decided to just walk past him, hoping that he doesn't say anything. But I was wrong.

"Isabelle." he stated, stopping me dead in my tracks.

"Lando" I sighed.

"Where are you going?" he asked, scanning me up and down, noticing that I was basically dressed for bed.

"Pierre's room" I responded.

His eyebrows furrowed when I said his name, but then they softened and I swear I could've seen a glimpse of sadness in his eyes.