Hold on || dreamnotfound

prologue

the writing gets better the further you read so have some faith in us xD
dream's point of view

"Okay, chat, Imma turn on donations now", I heard George's familiar voice echo through my room. His british accent had a comforting effect on my endlessly running mind. I had been watching his stream for the last two hours and could see it was going to end soon. But still, I couldn't bring myself to close the tab.

I checked the chat and saw the viewers sending tons of donations, each and every one with a personal question or message.

Can you greet me? My name is Cindy :)

Hey George, thank you so much for streaming today! You made my day it's my birthday today :D

"Hey Cindy! And happy birthday to whoever sent this donation. I'm glad I could brighten your day."

George was very busy with answering the chat's questions and requests. He did his best, but still missed a few messages.

I started zoning out and George's voice began to fade into a calming background sound, until a certain donation caught my attention.

Hi, Gogy :) I was wondering how your love life is going :)))) Do you have a gf or crush?

Suddenly all my fatigue was gone away and I straightened myself on my chair. With growing amusement I could see George's cheeks turning bright red. I obviously wasn't the only one who noticed it since chat was going crazy.

LOOK AT HIM BLUSH!

He just admitted it guys

she must be so glad

"Guys, I've told you before, my love life is private! Therefore I won't answer this question", George said in a strict, but also joking way, even though everyone already made their own assumptions about the whole situation. Including me.

I didn't know why knowing George liked someone bothered me that much. But it certainly did.

Without any more hesitation, I closed the window and shut down my computer.

Exhausted and confused, I let myself fall onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. My mind was racing to a point where I couldn't even identify a single thought.

Lost in my thoughts, I only noticed Patches when she curled up on my stomach, keeping me grounded. I was finally able to relax a little while slowly caressing her head. Patches started purring and the sound cleared my mind.

Unfortunately, it didn't last for too long, because only a few minutes later, I caught myself thinking again.

While still trying to analyze each and every one of my thoughts, I started to become aware of the fact that they were all revolving around one topic: my best friend.

Even though we never met in person, I had the feeling that I knew him better than anyone else.

But after today's stream I wasn't sure anymore. Why didn't he tell me about his crush? And even more important: Why did I care so much?

He was my best friend, so I shouldn't be jealous of a stupid girl. I should support him and not turn my back on him when he needed me. I should've helped him earlier to stop the chat from making up all these theories.

I should've stayed in his stream. But no matter how often I repeated this for myself, I still would've done the same thing over and over again. God, I was so selfish.

Without noticing, my hands had cramped together into fists. Alarmed about my body's violent reaction on George's crush, I got up harshly and stumbled out of my room, Patches complaining loudly about my sudden movement.

Subconsciously I had entered the bathroom and leaned against the door, slowly sliding down onto the cold floor. I curled up into the fetal position, hugging my legs tightly. My thoughts were still spiraling around George and I felt the urge to call him like I used to when something was wrong.

But this time, it was different. I couldn't call him to talk about my problems when they were caused by him.

That was when it hit me.

I was in love with my best friend.

Author's note

Hi everyone :) remember to eat and drink enough and take care of yourselves!

this book will contain sensitive topics but we will let you know at the beginning of each chapter. be careful and know your limits. we will put a short summary after triggering chapters, so you still know what happened.

enjoy :)