Hold on || dreamnotfound

chapter twenty nine

george's point of view
tw: eating disorder, talking abt throwing up

authors note: this could be really triggering so proceed with caution. Summary at the end of the chapter in case you don't want to read it :)

We were sitting on the couch for a good fifteen minutes now. Even though Clay had agreed to go to the party, I wasn't satisfied. Something deep down told me we really shouldn't.

I had a bad feeling about Dream's first interaction with people to be a party. Sure, Sap had reassured that it would be a chill party but the slight feeling of anxiety wouldn't leave the back of my mind.

"Should we watch something?" Sapnap asked, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv already. I just shrugged and Dream gave him a reassuring nod. For the first time since we sat down, I took a closer look at him.

He was clearly on edge, probably due to the fact that he had eaten not one but two tacos without really noticing. My heart clenched together at the thought that all he was thinking about right now was probably throwing up.

I gently grabbed him by his torso and pulled him closer to me, gliding a hand through his hair as a try to calm him down. But all he did was removing my other hand from his stomach and quietly standing up.

"Imma head upstairs real quick. Pick a movie and start without me if I'm not back till then" he huffed and stumbled upstairs, my heart instantly clenching together. He was about to do it wasn't he?

"Be right back" I said as well and stood up but before I could even start following him, I felt a tight grip on my arm. Sapnap was looking up at me, a strict look on his face as he inspected me carefully.

"George- I think you should leave him alone for a second. He left for a reason and if he got a bit overwhelmed, you shouldn't just follow without permission" he mumbled while I tried to get my arm out of his grip, to no avail.

He was in fact a lot stronger than I was.

"Sap you don't understand! I need to make sure he's okay" I protested but he didn't seem to understand.

"What do you mean? What's wrong? Did you do something?" He asked, slowly loosening his grip and standing up as well.

No that wasn't quite it. It was that I had made sure that every bathroom door was locked before coming downstairs...

"Sap I- you know what he does when he thinks he ate too much and-" I whispered and Sap finally understood, looking down at me with a shocked expression on his face.

"You think he's going to- shit, George, alright go look for him," he commanded but our talk got interrupted by a loud thud, our heads immediately turning into the direction it came from.

Clay was sitting on the floor, one of his hands trying to grab the trash can in front of him, the other one forcefully pulling his hair. Within the next second I was by his side, gently pushing the can away and lifting his face just enough for him to look into my eyes.

"Why did you-" he managed to get out, his eyes wide with horror. "Because you need the food in your system, Clay" I whispered, gently tracing down his cheekbones. His body only tensed up more and he quickly brought some distance between us, grabbing the floor and looking at his hands.

Neither me nor Sap had an idea what to do so I just whispered some reassuring words until his body slumped down into my arms, curling up as I started cradling up and down his spine. "You did so good honey" I whispered, feeling silent sobs shake through his body.

"I need to, George," he cried out, begging for me to open up one of the bathrooms but I just sat there, continuing to trace my fingers over his fragile body until I felt his breathing become more regular. He had finally fallen asleep... It was crazy how his body always chose to go on standby mode when things were overwhelming. Maybe it sensed that otherwise, Clay would hurt himself.

"Holy fuck, George." Sap's voice sounded from behind, almost making me flinch. "I know" was all I brought out, looking down at the boy in my arms before tears started flooding my eyes. Why did that poor boy have to go through so much? I would do everything to even just take one of his struggles away. Gosh, if there was a way, I would immediately switch places with him. All I wanted was for Dream to finally be happy and safe.

"We should get him to the couch. I think walking upstairs would wake him up" Sap suggested and I agreed, standing up with his help, making sure I didn't drop Clay. It was hard to balance, considering his immense height.

To my surprise, he was lighter than I had expected... I knew he wouldn't be as heavy as someone his height would normally be, but it was almost like I was lifting up my sister.

He was definitely lighter than I was and that made my chest tighten. This was definitely not how it should be.

Slowly but surely, we got to the couch and I sat down, Dream unconsciously wrapping his legs around my waist and pulling me closer to his chest. I smiled at the gesture even though he would never know he did it in the first place.

"Gosh why don't you two get a hotel room already," Sapnap complained, watching us with a playful disgusted expression on his face.

"Shut up. At least he's sleeping now," I mumbled and he giggled, inspecting our friend once again.

"Sure... that's the reason why you're cuddling him like he would disappear every second," he laughed and I showed him my precious middle finger before giving all my attention to Clay again.

I glared at his symmetrical face, admiring the flawless, soft skin, his dark eyelashes and the soft curve of his lips - of which I, by the way, knew how it felt to kiss it. Butterflies fluttered through my stomach and despite the serious situation, there was nothing I wanted to do more than lay my own lips on Clay's.

Then, my eyes met his sunken cheeks, the skin tensing over them. I landed back on the ground of facts and, god, it hurt. It hurt to see how deeply impacted the boy in my arms was by the simple thought of food. Not even speaking of actually eating something...

Subconsciously, I had started to play with his soft, blonde hair, staring at him while lost in my thoughts. But if I was honest, I didn't care at all. I didn't have to hide my feelings as long as he was asleep. And if my closeness had a calming effect on Clay at the moment, I would stay as close as I could.

"I wish I could help you," I whispered silently, not sure whether even Sap could've heard it.

For now, everything was okay. And if the party tomorrow would go as planned, I could finally relax a bit again.

Sucks when things don't go as planned, doesn't it...

summary:

After the little meal they had in the last chapter, they end up sitting on the couch to watch a movie. George accidentally triggers something by touching Dream's stomach, which is while he ends up running upstairs. But George closed all the bathrooms which makes Dream panic. After George helps him calm down, Dream falls asleep.  :)

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Party in the next chapter ;)
Do you really think you're ready?

Anyways we hope you had/ are about to have a great day!
Remember to eat and drink something and if you need someone to talk to, just sm us :)