rock 'n love // alex turner

19th

Has been 10 days since i argued with Alex, and neither he nor i tried to text each other...we're two stupid stubborn capricorns.

I saw Matt's photos and they were smashing and even tho i was angry with Alex i was really happy for them, i noticed that Alex's hair has grown a little.

Everyday Madison tried to take me out and sometimes i went with her but everytime i had a few drinks, they always had to stop me to sending messages to Alex
"Annabella what are you doing?!" said Madison
"I have to text him" i said crying
"You will do it when you'll be sober babe" she said.

But i think nobody has stopped him. Every sunday mornings i find at least 3 calls from him, but i've never asked him why did he called me.

I'm trying to sleep but i hear my phone vibrate all the time so i get up and i check it. It's 3 in the morning, what the fuck is going on? Oh shit. It's Alex, he's writing me a lot of messages

Alex band guy:
Anne are you out?
Why don't you come here?
I really want to see you please
Why no answer?
Annr olease answerrr me!!!

But then i finally answered him

Me:
Why'd you only call me when you're high?

Alex band guy:
What!&&?

Me:
Nevermind, stay safe.

I spent my last 10 days thinking about him, of course i still like him and yeah i would like to see him but he text me while he's drunk and i need him sober, but i'm too proud to text him.

Well, i couldn't sleep that night
"Anne, are you okay?" Caryl asked
"No, i couldn't sleep. Alex texted me" i said
"What? what did he say?" Madison asked
"He was drunk, he wanted to see me" i answered
"Don't you think that you guys have to meet each other?" Madison asked
"Maybe. But not now, i have to think about it" i replied

I really don't know what to do...
After that night, Alex didn't write to me anymore... maybe when he was sober he understood what he was doing and maybe he doesn't want to see me.

The weeks continued to pass, i have to go to the shop.
I usually connect to the London Radio, and everybody in the shop hear that but then a voice...
"Now we're going to hear a new song from this new group. They're from Sheffield and they are becoming famous here in England. But now let's hear their new song called Mardy Bum"
I was about to fain... okay Anne chill out.

But then i realised what the song talk about, it was our argument and i started to cry like a little kid so i ran to the storage room

And I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs, oh, when you say I don't care
But, of course I do, yeah, I clearly do

When i heard that line, I started throwing things and crying because i've been so stupid and i didn't let him finish that night.

The song finished but i still was in the storage room and them Caryl walked in:
"Anne what happened?"
"Alex. Their song is about me and i'm the stupid one" i said

She hugged me and she said:
"I'm sure there is a way to make the things better between you guys"
"I don't know Caryl. I'm scared that i ruined an amazing friendship" i said
"What the hell Anne! If you guys like each other it's not your fault" she said
"Yeah but at least I could have stayed quite about my feelings..." i said
"Don't say that" she said, and she helped me to standing up and then we came back home.

When Madison arrived at home, she and Caryl heard the song so they asked me how i was feeling about that
"Mads i fucked it up everything" i replied
"Anne if he's writing about you it's because he still care about you. He was really in love" she said
"Love?" i asked... I've never thought about that
"Yeah Anne, and i know that you feel it too" Mads said
"Anne i think that what is saying Mads is right" Caryl said
"Okay but now i can't do anything" i replied
"Of course you can do something Anne" Madison said
"Yeah but not now. I think we have to think for a bit" i said
"Sure, whenever you're ready Anne" Caryl said