Heart at War // JJ Maybank

11

Lena Boggs

          "It's a bit of a drastic change, don't you think?" Sarah stares at me through the mirror in her bathroom as she stands behind me, gloves on each of her hands as she holds the squirt bottle in the other. "It's also really impulsive." She adds.

I roll my eyes, "Yeah well everybody could use a little impulsive behavior now and then, Sarah Cameron."

It has been a week since the little situation happened with JJ, it has also been a week since I've seen another of my best friends other than Sarah and Ayden. It's just been too much, it's unfair that I'm taking it out on them as well but being around them also meant being around JJ... And Kiara.

I have nothing against Kiara, she doesn't know anything but when I look at her... All I can see is how beautiful she is, and how she's got this personality that isn't hard to love and all I feel is jealousy. Jealousy because she has the heart of the man I have longed for, for so many years.

It's not her fault, if it's anyone's fault it's mine. Of course, I want JJ to be happy and if it's Kiara that makes him happy I can accept that, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel hurt over it.

"Okay... Ready or not." Sarah chuckled as she lowered the bottle towards me. I gasp out, "Wait!"

She stops as soon as the words fall from my mouth and looks back up at me through the mirror. "Be honest, do you think it'll look good?" I ask her, chewing on my bottom lip. Sarah offers me a reassuring smile, "I think it'll look amazing Lena, I just want to make sure you're doing this for you."

"I... I am." I mutter, before gesturing for her to continue. Shortly after, I chill from the liquid on the top of my head as she begins spreading the on dye to my roots.

"So..." Sarah says after a few moments of silence, "Everyone's been asking where you've been." I glance up at her through the mirror, she scans over my face before looking back down at my hair to focus on what she's doing. "Yes, even JJ."

I let out a breath as I look back at my eyes in the mirror, I've barely gotten much sleep since the incident. I've barely even eaten, and no one seemed to notice. My mom's been too busy with her whole drama with my dad to pay attention, which in a sense I was happy about. So most of the time I'm at Sarah's house.

My Dad's been staying with his brother out of town, my Mom finally gaining the courage to kick him out of the house. He's tried contacting me but I've just ignored each of his calls and texts, I wasn't in the mood to hear from him. Honestly, I wasn't in the mood to hear from any man who hurts the woman who loves him.

"What have you, uh, told them?"

Sarah smiles at me. "I just said you've had some family issues lately. John B went to your house the other day actually. I haven't told them you've been here the last three days."

Lowering my eyes, I felt guilty. "He went to my house?"

"Hey, it's okay, Lena. You don't need to feel bad." Sarah assured me, with a gentle voice. "You need time to yourself. They'll understand." I focused my eyes on my hands, fiddling with my fingers.

I didn't think they would understand, for as long as I've been friends with them I have always gone to them with any issue I had and I have always been there for them when they needed me. How would they understand me suddenly dropping off the face of the earth to deal with my problems alone if I couldn't even tell them the real reason?

"Yeah, maybe..." I sigh.

          I stare at myself in the mirror with wide eyes, reaching up to touch the newly dyed hair on my head. "Woah..." Sarah says as she peeks her head in through the bathroom door.