Heart at War // JJ Maybank

Character Q&A

My friend has given me this idea after posting one of her own :)

The purpose of this Q&A is for my characters to answer questions that had been commented on by the readers as they went through the story :) (Ex. Why didn't you lock the window sooner, Lena? Or Why did you still hook up with JJ when you knew about Kiara?)

Feel free to skip over this if you're not interested, I just thought this would be fun to do as well as give a more in-depth idea as to my thought process in the creation of this story & explain my character's choices through their eyes AND mine - xoxo

Let's get to it :)

First Interviewee — Lena Boggs-Maybank

Question: Lena, what was the reason or cause for your attraction to Ayden during that summer everything changed?

"Hm... That's hard to pinpoint," Lena addresses. "Maybe it was the idea of him, you know? The idea that somebody could want me without all the... Complications. I don't want to undermine what I felt for him, I was attracted to him because his person was bright... Sometimes a little too bright, and maybe that's what turned me off a bit. His... Neglect or refusal to acknowledge the differences between us. Or the things he didn't need to work for, whereas I grew up constantly worrying about the things I needed to work for.  I think he was a bubble wrap, and if I tried my hardest I could feel for him what I felt for JJ. Selfish, I know but I don't know how to explain it any better"

Question: Why took you so long to finally lock that window, when there were plenty of other times beforehand that would be a perfectly viable reason to lock it?

Lena leans forward. "I was caught up in believing that if I tried a little harder, loved a little more, and let him get away with things I shouldn't have maybe he'd see me the way I see him..."
Lena chuckles softly, shaking her head. "I also think that... When you're physically in that situation when you feel all those emotions when you share those amazing moments... The ones that are the reason you fell in love with that person... You're blinded by every wrongdoing. For example, Sarah could see the wrong in our situation. She could see the way I let him blow me off until it was convenient for him, but I was so caught up in the... The thrill and the rush of him coming back that I just didn't care."
Lena visible becomes emotional. "That's often the case... Turning a blind eye because you don't want to lose that feeling they cause. Just... to have them for a little bit, outweighs the hurt they cause. We don't see the red flags because we just want them."

Question: When JJ finally confessed, why do you think you suddenly felt differently?

With a smile, Lena sighs. "I think the answer to that question is obvious to me... After... Everything that happened. After the constant disappointment of JJ getting my hopes up, the need for him to love me the way I loved him... Just wasn't there anymore. Which surprised me, too. I expected to feel differently when he confessed, but everything he did hit me in the chest. Like a fight or flight reaction, I guess," There's a reminiscing look in her eyes. "The fear crept in and suddenly I didn't... Want to get hurt anymore? I was just so tired, as much as I loved him I was tired. I'm a human too, there's only so much you can take before you can't anymore. Instead of feeling happy, I felt like the second choice."