Heart at War // JJ Maybank

25

Lena Boggs

          August sixteenth, ten days since my father's funeral. Days felt long, I spent most of my time in my room for the first couple of days after the ceremony... My friends came to visit, JJ stayed practically every night that he could.

I haven't been more thankful to have JJ in my life. He's supported me in ways that no one else could, made life slightly more bearable when I felt like the world was caving in around me.

Of course, my other friends have contributed to that as well... But they all tip-toed around me like I was a ticking time bomb, even my Mom. I'm not sure how my Mom's doing, in all honesty. She's either too drunk to tell, or not home because she's working extra hours to make more money.

I knocked on Ayden's door, sighing as I waited for someone to answer. Much to his dismay, I haven't seen him since the day of the funeral. I just haven't felt up to social interactions, I could tell from the texts he would send me that he was beginning to become fed up with me- In a way, I knew it was unfair for him to get upset with me, but I couldn't help but feel guilty.

Ayden pulled open the door, a smile instantly made its way onto his face as he finds me standing there. I force one back at him, taking note that he no longer offered me that sense of reliability.

Ayden hasn't been reliable since my Dad passed away. He's been pushy, and jealous and anything other than the person I had gotten to know.

He pulls me in for a hug, lifting me off my feet. "I've missed you." He mumbles into my hair, I hug him back... Slightly disliking that he picked me up but ignoring it anyway.

"I've missed you too," I tell him, barely any emotion behind it once I'm standing back on my own feet again. "Come in," He exclaimed, pulling me into his house and shutting the door behind us. Taking me by surprise, Ayden engulfs me in another hug this time spinning me around before placing me back down on my feet.

"Oh, my god. Lena!" Addie's voice comes in to play from behind me, a wide smile spreading across my face as I turn and fling my arms around the small girl. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt knowing that I was much happier to see Addie, than Ayden whom I've had a little fling going on with basically the whole summer.

"How are you? Ayden hasn't stopped whining about you, it's kind of annoying." Addie tells me, grabbing my face. "Please don't let me sit through that again," She jokes, making me smile. Her eyes flicker between mine as a serious look falls over her face. "But seriously, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Addie. I'm fine." I assured her, even though everything I felt was nowhere near fine. "Okay, okay! Stop hogging my gi- Stop hogging, Lena." Ayden intervenes, and I don't miss how he almost calls me his girlfriend in the process.

Addie pouts at her brother, "She likes me more."

Maybe.

Ayden takes my hand in his, pulling me toward their living room. "Go away, Addie!" Ayden calls over his shoulder, I look back at her. She crosses her arms while rolling her eyes before mouthing, see you later at me.

"So what's been going on?" Ayden asks me, moving closer to me on his couch.

"Well, nothing. My Dad died." I said, no emotion in my voice as irritation set inside of me. I wasn't sure why I was finding myself easily irritated with Ayden.