Heart at War // JJ Maybank

EPILOGUE PART 2

I have to admit, selfishly I wanted to write about more JJ x Emilia content. I'm obsessed with father JJ and I wanted to give you one last taste before I say goodbye to this story! :)

Lena Boggs

Twenty-three hours of labour. Twenty-three hours of JJ constantly asking if I needed anything if I was okay.

I began to stir in my sleep, the beeping from the hospital machine beside me was the first thing I heard. I found JJ sitting on a chair, eyes wide open as he stared at where our new daughter was laying peacefully.

"Baby?" I whispered, his attention turning to me. He quickly rushes to my side, his hand pushing hair from my forehead. "Hey, hey Lee B. How are you feeling? Do you want anything?"

I smile at him, a weak smile from the exhaustion I felt. I nod towards the bassinet that held our newborn daughter, her pink blanket wrapped snuggly around her.

There was something off about JJ, something I've noticed when he declined the doctor's offer to hold our baby when she was born— Something didn't feel right, and he was trying to hide it from me.

"You haven't held her yet, JJ," I stated, my voice barely above a whisper. JJ's body tensed at my words, licking his lips as he glanced towards the bassinet. "Why hasn't needed to be held."

I gave him a knowing look, one that told him I knew that wasn't the real reason. "What's going on in that head of yours, JJ?"

JJ's eyes became glossy, biting down on his bottom lip like I just chipped away his tough front. He rubs my forehead again, shaking his head as a tear slips down his face.

"Look at her, Lee..." He whispered, voice shaking. "Look at how innocent she is, how beautiful she is..." I couldn't understand why he was saying it like it was a bad thing.

"I..." He wipes his eye with his sleeve. "I'm too scared, she's too perfect...Lena. What if I fuck her up? I see Baby Maybank written on that crib and I can't help but think to myself that a little baby as pure as her shouldn't have to take on the shame of holding the Maybank name." Everything clicked, as he sobbed silently.

I press my palm against his cheek, shaking my head at his foolishness. "What if I'm no better than my father? I love her so much already and I haven't even touched her, I'm so s-scared Lee."

"Name her," I tell him, his eyes widen at my request. "What?"

"Go look at our daughter, J. Tell me her name." JJ pulled back from my touch in shock. "But we haven't decided on one yet?"

"I want you to name her." I tell him sternly, "I-I... Baby, a name is like permanent... She needs to live with it forever, that's too big a-"

"JJ!" I stop his rambling. "Please, go look at our daughter... And tell me her name." JJ stared at me in fear, mixed with some excitement before turning and walking towards our daughter.

He places his hands on the side of the bassinet, leaning over so he's hovering above the sleeping child. From here, I can see his pupils dilate... His chest rising and falling, his hold tightening around the edge of the bassinet.

Slowly, I walked as his eyes filled with a sense of protection... Love. He stared at the little girl that we created together with so much passion, and even though I had always known he would be an amazing father... This moment confirmed it.

He was unsure of himself, but I believed in him.

JJ's lips parted, eyes widening in realization before he laughed softly to himself. He figured out her name, I could see it.