Heart at War // JJ Maybank

13

Lena Boggs

            "If our daughter doesn't want to talk to you, Logan. I'm not going to force her." I hear my Mom snap into her phone as I made my way downstairs the next morning. As I listened to her argue with my Dad, I quietly made my way towards the front door.

"Don't raise your voice at me, I am not the one who created this mess! You are the one who cheated." The voice crack in my Mom's voice makes my heart hurt as I slip on my sandals.

I could hear my Mom pacing back and forth in the kitchen as I slowly turned the door handle, trying my best to keep the door quietly as I pulled it opened. I needed to make my way to John B's house.

"Fuck you-" I shut the door behind me before rushing towards my car, but every time I tried to start the engine. It would die on me.

"You piece of shit!" I exclaimed slamming my fists down on the wheel. I huffed as I climbed out of my car in annoyance, slamming the door shut behind me before beginning my walk down to John B's house.

The sun was hot, the sweat began to pool on my forehead as I made my way towards John B's.

As I kick a small rock on my way, I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the memory of last night. JJ had gone mad, I have seen JJ lose his temper way too many times to count but I have never seen him beat someone the way he did last night.

I wasn't sure how to think of it either. I mean, a part of me was genuinely scared but the other part of me... The small fucked up part, couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with me. Maybe feelings, in some twisted way.

The last time I had seen JJ so mad was when he found out what Rafe had tried to do to me, but even then he never laid a finger on Rafe. Sure they shared some words, he even threatened Rafe to stay away from me... But last night was something different, a part of him I could barely recognize.

JJ was laying on the hammock outside of John B'd house, his arm covering his eyes and one leg hanging over the edge. He wasn't aware of my presence yet and I wasn't sure if I wanted him to be. I didn't come here because I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to see him and verify for myself that he was okay but I am still not ready to talk to him.

Just my luck though, the wood from John B's deck creaked under my foot and I felt my whole body tense up as JJ immediately snapped his head in my direction. His eyes widen as he sees me standing there, sitting up so fast he almost fell out of the hammock.

"Lee." He says breathlessly as I stare back at him. I push a strand of hair out of my face, lowering my eyes to the ground. "Hey..." I mutter back, the awkwardness between us was enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and never come out to face this feeling again.

"I-" I cut him off before he could even begin I g his sentence. "I'm not here to talk... I'm... I'm here to see John B, is he home?" The words came out so fast, I was worried he wouldn't understand them.

But he did, as he shook his head slowly. "No... No, I'm here by myself, he's working I think. Or with Sarah, I don't know."

I smack my lips together before stepping back. "Okay, I'll come back later." I nodded before turning on my heels to walk away, but just as quickly as I turned, JJ had his hand around my wrist.

I felt goosebumps rise on my body at the contact of his skin on mine. A feeling that I missed, a feeling that I have craved for the longest time- But even since he moaned Kiara's name while he was me, it hasn't been the same. His touch doesn't leave me feeling satisfied anymore, his touch only reminds me of how distant our souls are. I longed for him while he longed for my best friend.