𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒆...

Chapter 8

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                      ⁻ᵗⁱᵐᵉ ˢᵏⁱᵖ: ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒⁿᶠⁱʳᵉ⁻

It's night already. I was sitting alone under a tree, watching the boys set on the fire - a mountain of wood. Then everyone started cheering and some boys were banging on things that looked like...drams trying to play music. I guess. I think they really don't remember anything... They don't know a thing about music. If this is the way they enjoy themselves, I guess that I am going to cut my own bloody throat. They must be really desperate. All of them. Well...that was supposed to be a...um...a...SHIT! I forgot it. BONFIRE! That was what Newt told me. A bloody bonfire for me. Although it felt like, it was for everyone else but me. Anyway, I don't even really care about it. I don't want to be a part of this shit! They don't want me ones, I dont want them ten. Really now...three bloody years here. They're all of them hypocrites. Pretend that everything's fine, when it isn't. They don't face this crazy situation. They just...

"Hey love" a shoft British accent cut my thoughts. "Hey" I said without turning to look at him. "What's wrong love? Why are you sitting alone here?". Please can you just l-e-a-v-e? I said. But I just said that inside my head, so none else heard it but me. "Mind if I sit?" he asked. "Why don't you just turn around and walk back to your bloody friends?" I turned this time to face him. I want some privacy here! I think that he didn't hear anything of what I said, because he just sat next to me. "You know...why don't you try to get to know better the others, instead of sitting here alone?", "That's the problem! I'm not sitting alone!" I yelled. He looked shocked. I rolled my eyes and got up to leave. Before I could do anything, his hand on my shoulder put me back to the ground. I sighed annoyed. "What?" I finally said. "You must know that I don't give up easily" he said, looking somewhere else. "You should" I said and tried to leave again. Ofcourse he put me down again. I sighed and rolled my eyes for one more time and then I folded my arms, ready to blow up! For my surprise he handed me his drink. "Here, put some hair on your chest" he said. I looked him carefully and then took the drink. It was yellow and green. Like swamp water. I wasn't sure what it was or if I wanted to drink it. So I preferred to smell it first. I approached the bottle with my nose. A smell of death came through my lungs. Oh-my-God! I coughed, trying to get rid of that stupid smell of spoiled fruit mixed with...uhh...I don't want to even think about it. "Yuq! Uh... What is this thing?" I said with disgust, as I took it away from me, trying to give it back to him. "Come on love... you didn't even try it" he tried to convince me. "It smells like a poor fish is dying in there" I said and hit the glass on his chest, pouring the half liquid out. "Woah... be careful love. We don't really want a real size fish out here". I rolled my eyes...really, did he just said that? "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that". I looked at him carefully and then back to some other drunk boys.

"Anyway, you know you unjust yourself" he said looking at me. "Well, maybe I'm a half fish but at least I'm not dead" I said with a fake smile. And then... "Although some of them would like it" I whispered. "What are you talking about?", "Come on Newt. Don't put on an act infront of me. I know that all of them are frightened. Scared. Stressful. Angry some of them". He was staring at me. I looked in his chocolate eyes. "I can feel them" I said. "They just want me to go back from where I came from" I looked down. "They don't want me here" I whispered. "I'm a monster" I knew it. Because I am... He was going to say something but I cut him. "Why are you here?" I looked now deep down in his eyes. I knew that with that way he could tell me only the truth. "Why you're not afraid of me Newt?". We were in silence. Ofcourse we were in bloody silence! He didn't know what to answer. He actually WAS afraid of me.

I felt my eyes burning. Arg! Don't cry! Don't cry! Why I wanted to cry? I looked to the ground and tried to hide them. I never cry. And ofcourse not for boys! I knew that he wouldn't answer so I got up. Surprisingly, I didn't feel any hand on my shoulder, so I walked away. Seriously what did I expect? Suddenly something grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I was lost in my thoughts, so I didn't hear anyone behind me. That was when I understood that I was in Newt's arms. My hands moved automatically on his chest. His one hand around my waist and with the other he picked my chin up and he looked deep down in my eyes. "You are different. And I don't mean the fact that you are a bloody mermaid. You are brave. You don't let anyone to treat you like a shit. You are kind. Helpful. You healed Gally, although he treated you awful at first. You care. You are just perfect love. You may not see it but you are. You are unique. And I believe that behind this tough, bad girl, there is a great, beautiful soul" he smiled. I was going to pass out. He was telling the truth. I could feel him. He was serious...but...wrong. He doesn't know me. I'm not that girl. He had to hate me. And if he finds out he will. "I'm not afraid of you Rikki. I'll never be afraid of you". Why everything is going wrong with my freaking life? He doesn't really know anything about me. He knows me only one day. "Maybe you should be" I said. I didn't want him to get hurt. My past is a nightmare. I'm not that good, lovely girl that he described. I'm not a cute dream. I'm a bloody nightmare.