The Space Between Us (WAYHAUGHT)

Chapter 20

They had not been intimate since the rescue.

Waverly feared Nicole would grow tired of her if they no longer were able to explore each other. Enjoy togetherness. She was scared. Scared to venture further. Scared to touch Nicole, for fear it being taken as an invitation to reciprocate. Terrified of her body freezing, as it had done the first time Nicole tried to get close. Muscles tensing, pushing Nicole away, running to the sleep quarters, crawling into the pod sobbing.

Nicole had followed. "We don't have to do anything."

"I can't satisfy you."

"I understand. Trust me. I understand."

"How can you?"

Nicole was at a loss. She knew Waverly was grieving. She could see it in her eyes. The uncertainty, the fear. Waverly was completely and utterly lost, no longer able to connect with those who loved her. Wynonna explained this would be part of the process. It would need utmost patience on Nicole's part. Time. Plenty of time. Nothing hurried. She would need to demonstrate to Waverly all the love she had for her. Slowly. Gently.

Nicole was at her workstation replying to a message from Wynonna. Waverly emerged from the sleep quarters, sitting on the edge of the couch, watching Nicole immersed in her work. She loved her. She no longer could see Nicole's love being sent to her, let alone feel it. Her heart was breaking. Torn between wanting to stay with Nicole and setting her free to find someone who could love her the way she needed. The way she deserved.

Nicole looked up, her smile met with the now familiar dullness in Waverly's eyes. The sparkle gone. Her heart breaking too. Here was the person she no longer wanted to run away from, shutting her out, keeping her at arm's length. She would remain waiting outside Waverly's heart, forever, if it meant being with her. She sensed Waverly didn't want that.

"Can I get you anything?" Nicole asked.

Waverly shook her head. She wanted her life to be as it was. Nothing else mattered. She came to stand by Nicole, brushing her hair back, the way she had the first time on AquaLuna. Her hand paused as she gazed deep into her eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes.

"Don't stop."

Waverly removed her hand abruptly. Anxiety building once more. She wanted to, she wanted nothing more than to please. Her inability to see Nicole's radiance stopping her.

Nicole had an idea. "Would you let me try something?"

Waverly nodded, watching Nicole disappear, reappearing a few moments later with an item. A length of cloth used as a neck protector under her combat suit. She was nervous, wondering what Nicole had in mind.

Nicole moved towards her. "Guide me, without words."

Waverly looked confused. "What do I do?"

"Show me where to go. How to find you."

"What if you can't? What if you can't find me?"

"I'll keep looking."

Nicole held out the scarf. "I need you to wear this over your eyes."

Waverly didn't want to. She wanted curl up in a ball, let the Universe carry on without her. She nodded, allowing Nicole to tie the scarf, making sure it was not too tight. Waverly moved her head from side to side. "I can't see."

"No words."

It took a few moments to adjust to her blindness. She could feel her heart beating. She could sense Nicole in the room, no longer able to know where. She was close.