Ch. 48 Ring Size

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<flashback to about two years ago>

"I'm not coming out, and I'm not talking to anyone. I'm going to live under these blankets for the rest of my life."

"Solid plan," Hawks said, standing in the doorway to your dark bedroom. All of the lights were off, and he assumed you were buried under all of those sheets and blankets on the bed somewhere. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No. I'm not talking to anyone ever again."

Coming into your room, Hawks carefully maneuvered around your furniture in the dark. Sitting down on your bed, he put one hand on what he thought looked like your back and began rubbing gently.

You were mad, sad, angry, sick to your stomach with how fucking disgusting people were in general after the interrogation you'd done today, but if you focused on the feeling of Hawks's hand on your back, on the gentle rhythm of his hand moving up and down, you could ignore and forget some of that. Not all, but some.

"You weren't supposed to work today," he said.

"Yeah, well, I guess when they have a psycho on their hands the police make exceptions."

"No one called me."

You pulled the blankets off your head for just a second. "I used to work all the time without you, you know. And that asshole officer said I'd be fine with just him there," you said.

"And are you fine?"

"Fuck no!"

With a smirk, Hawks tapped the tip of your nose. "I thought you weren't talking to anyone."

"I'm not," you said pulling the blankets back over your head. "Go away."

With a sigh he laid down on your bed next to you. "All right. Then I guess you don't want the present I brought you."

"Present?" you mumbled meekly from underneath the blankets.

"I was going to give you a present, but if you're never speaking to me again, I could always take it back..."

"Don't you dare," you said, immediately sitting up and knocking the blankets off you. "Why did you get me a present?"

Hawks leaned over and turned on your lamp, the soft light just enough in your dark bedroom so that the two of you could see each other. "You're not just going to read my mind to find out?"

"Truthfully, after the sick shit I saw today, I would sort of like to give my brain a rest."

Hawks reached out and took your hands in his.

"Before I give you your present," he said, "I want you to know that I'm sorry you had a bad day. I'm sorry people are awful. I'm sorry that you always see the worst in humanity."

"Thanks. Some days it's awful," you admitted, "but I have to remind myself that even though these are the only people I see, I'm interrogating a very small percentage of the population."

"I don't know how you do it. All of these people give me the creeps."

"Same, honestly. It took everything in me to even say out loud to the police what this guy had done. But I tell myself that I'm helping families and victims. That's the only way I can make it through. You help, too, you know. Having you here makes the day go by so much faster."

"I won't always be here."

"Stop saying that."

"It's the truth, y/n. You know that my transfer is coming up. This job was never supposed to be permanent for me."

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