Death is My Frenemy Rewritten (Book 3 of the Rewritten Death Chronicles)

Chapter 15: Steal, Taste, Kill

*KAT IS SUMMONED IN A SWIRL OF DARK MAGIC AND BLACK HEART EMOJIS*

VELCOME....to chapter 15. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND A LENGTHY CHAPTER????

Don't forget to vote or comment like maniacs on this book... OR ELSE THE CUPCAKE WILL GET IT! *points to cupcake strapped to a spinning wheel where I am throwing axes awfully close to the target*

            Moments after Death left, his shadow guards returned with their eerily silent, concealed faces. One of them linked the cuffs on my wrists to a different chain, one that was thinner and sort of reminded me of a fancy leash, before not-so-nicely yanking me toward him.

I was hauled up a flight of stairs, before the shadow guards dumped me before two armed men with black feathered helmet and swords at their belts. Knights. I only got a quick look at their faces because of the shadows draping down from their helmets, but I did notice they both had dark grey horns that curved back away from their faces, and different uniforms than the shadow men.

"What are the chances of there being a flushable toilet up in here?" I asked, while being escorted by these two horned men up yet another flight of stone stairs. "Any of you big guys ever hear of a toilet? That flushes?"

Neither of the guard's said anything.

"All I'm saying is if I have to squat over a bucket to use the bathroom? I'm going to make a real big stink about it. I mean––like make a problem, not an actual big stink. Not that I don't poop. Of course, I poop. I actually can't remember the last time I went number two, though. You know when you visit someone's home, and you stay over, and you just can't seem to use the bathroom like you can in your own home...? You know what? Just forget about the whole thing, carry on with your slence. Why should I seek any social interaction anyway? My cell wall was a fantastic listener­­–­"

"Pipe it down, female," said the guard to my right.

"Don't talk to her like that." The guard on my left surprisingly came to my defense. "She's a lady."

"What kind of lady talks of making a big stink?"

Their voices sounded awfully familiar.

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to act like I don't go to the bathroom ever?" I asked. "Would that make you feel more comfortable with your manliness, sir?"

Now the guard on the left was laughing. "Damn, she just baked you."

"You two have names?" I asked.

"Leonard," said the guard to my left, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Wolf," reluctantly answered the more bitter knight to my right.

Sandwiched between Envy and Greed. I wondered if I'd meet the other Deadly Sins in this memory.

"Petruchio mentioned you when we shared a cell," I told Wolf. "He said you became a knight."

"Indeed, I got a raise for good behavior."

"More like for not getting caught doing wrong," Leo said with a chuckle.

"How is that nutty fellow anyway?" Wolf asked me. "Didn't try any of his love dove moves on you, did he?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle. He was belligerently drunk last time I saw him, so if he had tried anything, I could have just poked him, and he probably would have fallen over."