MINE

Chipmunk

LALISA'S POV

Dear Diary:

    Today... I felt lonely. I always am, I feel like ever since I started pouring my heart to you I've constantly complained of how sad my life is. I mean you know why I have felt so lonely the past years, but today... it's for a whole different reason. I'm sad, I am. But I feel relieved as well. For the first time in forever, I finally felt lonely... not because of him but because of her. Jennie. And for the first time since I started writing to you, I finally mentioned another name other than his. I'm starting to genuinely feel okay.
Is it okay to be okay?

After I closed my diary, I put it in the drawer of my study table I have here in the library I owned in my penthouse. Which is on the first floor of the penthouse. The first floor of the penthouse consists of the living room, and the open kitchen, a room where I am in right now that I made into a library since I love reading. The second floor, which I already mentioned before consists of my music room, my bedroom, and the room where I can paint. And that's pretty much it. The last three floors of this building is a penthouse which was owned by Rosé and Jisoo, me, and Jennie. And the others are just condominiums.

I walked out of my library and goes to my kitchen to make some hot chocolate. It's Saturday today so my classes are only in the morning which I am already done with. Chaeyoung asks me to hangout whang out but since I am still avoiding Jennie, I just made an excuse that I am still busy with some papers for our company which is half true cause I have to take care of some emails that my dad send to me since she asks for some advice about his new investors. Half-truth because it wasn't that urgent, but at least I didn't completely lie.

I sat on the sofa in the living room and turned on the TV to watch some movies. I was just about to press some random movie when I heard the doorbell rang. 'Please... don't let it be Jennie.' I mentally beg as I checked my monitor cam. I sadly sigh when I saw that it was just rosé, 'Stupid me. I was praying for it not to be here and that it isn't, I'm sad?' I just shook my head and opened the door for chipmunk.

"Hi, Lice!" She hugged me for a moment and immediately went inside. I just chuckled and shook my head at her feels of feeling at home as I closed the door. When I got inside I saw her rummaging one of my kitchen moldings where the foods at.

"What are you doing here?" I sat on the sofa and turned off the TV. I'm sure I won't be able to watch since she's gonna talk to me for sure.

"You know why." She said as she casually sat in front of me.

"I seriously don't wanna talk about it chae."

"Lisa. It's been a week since you started avoiding her. you should've asked her and let her talk before you started running away from her. How the hell are you gonna find out about the answers to your question if won't talk to her." She seriously said while looking at my eyes, telling me that she isn't here to play. She already knows what happened between me and Jennie since I told her about it when I had a separate lunch with her while the other two were having theirs as well.

"I don't know Rosie. I'm just... I'm scared okay?" I said as I felt a lump in my throat. I look up to stop my tears from falling. She immediately came to my side and hugged me.

"What are you scared of lis?" She carefully asks while rubbing my back.

I pulled away from the hug. "I've never felt like this before. I'm scared... that if I act on it, I won't be able to save myself anymore."

"What do you mean?"

I slightly smiled at her to tell her that I'm okay because I know she's worried about me right now. "If she likes me too, I am scared that if we'll ever be together... I'll just cost her pain. And the most terrifying thing for me other than losing someone I love... is hurting them." My voice cracked a little after I said that. I can't do that to her. 'I am the living proof of pain.'

"How are you so sure that you're gonna hurt her? Being aware and scared of that thought alone is already enough proof that you would never hurt her. At least not intentionally." She held my hand tightly and smiled at me. "You're a good person lalisa. I am a good judge of character and I know that you are the kind of person that would never deliberately do something that could hurt their loved ones."

I sincerely smiled at her. "Thank you chaeyoung-ah."

"You're welcome. I'm always here lis. We're best friends now right? I mean we're even instant sisters now." We both laugh at what she said. 'I agree.' "Now stop avoiding her okay? you don't have to be worried about that. Pain comes with loving someone. We all need to put that in mind."

"Yeah yeah. Whatever. Miss Wisdom." I chuckled as I saw how she acts like I just hurt her feelings.

"Yah! I just comforted you and encourage you to do the right thing and this is what I get? Hmph." I laugh at that, damn she's so funny to tease.

"Okay okay. I'm just teasing you but seriously Rosie... thank you." I said as I gave a hug.

"I'll only accept your thank you if it has a pizza with it."

We both laugh at that again. I shook my head as I started ordering food as she turned on the TV to watch a movie. After that, she immediately rushes to my room to change into one of my comfortable clothes.

'I guess we're having an impromptu sleepover.'