MINE

Breakdown

Lalisa's POV

I was woken up from my deep slumber when my phone suddenly rings. I took it from my bedside and clumsily answer it since I am still sleepy.

"Hello."

"Lisa..." The person from the other side was panting like she was tired.

"Hmm..." Still have no idea who this person is since I am still pretty much sleepy.

"Lis... I'm sorry to call you this early but Jennie's... missing."

I immediately rose from my bed at that statement, I immediately look at my phone to check who called and it's Jisoo Unnie.

"Unnie, what do you mean missing?" I ask as I stood from my bed to change into something warm.

"We were just sleeping and then I woke up so I decided to get some water in the kitchen, I checked Jennie's room like I usually do when we're having a sleep over but she's not here anymore."

"Where are you guys right now?" I ran to the door with my car keys.

"I'm still here at her penthouse to see if she ever comes back while seulgi and nayeon went out to look for her. I just called you to let you know but I want you to know not to worry too much since this usually happens before."

"Thanks for letting me know Unnie. I'll hang up now and go look for her myself."

"Okay. Take care lis." She said before I hung up.

Seulgi, Nayeon, and Jisoo Unnie decided to sleep over to have some bond that they usually have. So, I decided to sleep back at my penthouse but I didn't know that this would happen since this never happened before all the while, while I was sleeping at Jennie's.

It didn't take me too long to find her since I already know where she would be. I immediately texted the girls not to worry since I found Jen already. They wanted to come here but I told them to go back to sleep so they just ask me to take care and take Jennie back home safely.

We're here at her haven. She was leaning at the tree while looking out at the stars. I watched her from afar to give her time to herself but when I saw how sad her eyes were and how she broke down, I couldn't take it anymore and immediately ran to her from where I am.

"Baby..." I crouched down on her level while she looks up from her head on her lap.

She smiled at me a little as her tears continues to fall. "I miss my mom so much... Lisa." She said as she continues to break down. I hugged her and lean her head in my chest as she continued to cry.

I didn't say anything and just let her cry her heart out. Because honestly... I know that I couldn't have said anything to make someone, who lost their loved ones, feel better. There's nothing I could have said to take the pain away and that hurts me but I know more than anyone else that this is how it is.

"I want my mom back Lisa..."

"I know baby," I wiped her tears away. "Love... do you know, why god has to take them away from us?"

She shook her head. "Do I even what to know?"

I smiled a little at that. Even in this state, she can still be savage. "I know that it hurts to lose someone we love; to lose someone who we thought would stay with us for so long, someone that we trust and cared about so much. But baby, we have to understand that some people just have to go."

"But why does it have to be my mom? Why does it have to be me? My mom was everything to me; she understood me, she loves me. and she was always there for me." She broke away from my hug and stood up. "Why does he have to take that away from me?!?"

"Jen—"

I was immediately interrupted by her shouts. "Stop trying to make me feel better. I will never be better! I tried to... but I can't. Everything that I know... was because of my mom. And now that she's gone, I can't even think of doing something that she taught me because I'm always gonna remember her and every damn time I do, it puts me in so much pain. Because up until now, I am still not over of the fact that my mom is gone!"

I continued to watch her as she broke down in front of me. It hurts me so much when I can't do anything to make her feel better, to stop her pain, to stop her cries.

I went to her and took her hands. "Come here..." I brought her back to the tree again. I took her to sit down in front of me as I direct look at her in the eyes. I heaved a sigh as I am about to spill something I think I have never told anyone before. "I had a brother..." She confusingly look at me but there's something more on her look tho but I just shrugged it off. "Aside from bambam, I had another amazing brother; he was my protector, he loved me, and he took care of me. He was a brother that I didn't think I deserved in life," I took a sigh as I stopped myself from crying. 'I'm not here to cry from my own misery. I'm here for my Jennie.' I mentally thought. "I never thought that one day... I'd lose him. I lost him in an accident that was supposed to take my life but instead... he took it for me. I asked God every time, why? why would it be him? why not me? why did he have to take him away from me, from us? he never answered me tho," I chucked from that. "But one day... I just thought, Okay. I need to stop questioning him. I need to stop living my life like this. I thought, my brother, didn't save my life for me to waste it. So, I tried to start living again." I held her hand tightly and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Nini... it's okay not to stop grieving. It's okay not to stop being in pain. What's not okay is when we don't try to move forward. We can move forward whilst still being in pain. I want you to know that it's fine to still be in pain. Because some people just don't move on from the pain, they just learn to live with it."

"Were you like that? Were you just living with the pain?" She softly asks. 'I am glad she's calm now.'

"Hm," I nodded my head a little. "I am," she sadly looks at me when I said that but I just smiled at her. "But it's okay. I never moved on from the pain because when I do. I'll feel like, I forgot about him. And I don't want that, I don't want to forget my brother. So instead, I just decided to live with. I decided to live from the pain of losing my brother because as painful as the idea of it is, the only thing that keeps me from forgetting him — is the pain that it cost me when I lost him." I hugged her again. "So it's okay hon... I promise you, it's okay."

She cried even harder as I held her tighter. It broke my heart so much when the only person that made me who I am today is in so much pain and I couldn't even do anything to take it away.

After her breakdown, I asked her to go home already since she's been here for so long and I don't want her to get sick. She didn't protest and just let me guide her to my car. I'll just ask someone to take her car from here.

It didn't even take long for us to get home since it's already in the middle of the night and everyone is probably asleep by now. Instead of taking her to her penthouse, I took her to mine since I don't wanna disturb the Unnies anymore. We didn't say anything, I just let her lay on my bed as I put a blanket on her after I got her some water to drink, it didn't even take too long and she was already in deep sleep.

I went to my desk and took my diary out as I started writing. After I did, I went back to bed and continue to watch my girlfriend to sleep. "I'm sorry for being such a useless girlfriend. I am sorry I couldn't do anything to help you heal your pain... because honestly, baby, I haven't healed mine as well." I kissed her forehead as I decided to just sleep all this emotions away.