Sillage

Chapter 17 - Friend.

TW MENTIONS OF SUICIDE/SOME SMUTTY THOUGHTS FROM OUR MC/SLIGHT MANHANDLE

"One leg through here, then the other...Oh, wait. Was this for the chest? Now that I look at it, maybe I got it backward." Muttering under your breath, you're trying to figure out the way the gear harness should go over your body, eyes squinting in the dim morning light.

Taking a long breath through your nose, fresh morning air fills your lungs. Your eyebrows pinch in a small frustrated frown when your eyes examine the leather straps for the umpteenth time. You've been at it for fifteen minutes already, and you still can't figure out how to put this on properly. Eld and Petra offered to help you, after they brought you here this morning, but they also needed to prepare the grounds for your first training session. Already having enough work on their hands, the least you could do was put on the harness by yourself. Shooing them away and offering them a reassuring smile, they reluctantly departed, leaving you to it.

You were pretty confident in putting this on. How hard could it be after all? You've spent so much time admiring the way those leather straps clung to Captain Levi's body whenever you saw him with the ODM gear on, you thought you already had memorized the way they should go.

But you were wrong.

No matter how much you pride yourself in deciphering puzzles and riddles, your power of deduction more developed than the average person's, you just can't figure out how to put this gear on.

And you are also running out of time.

Heaving another long sigh, you let the hand holding the leather fall to your side, while the other one wiped at your face in exhaustion. It's barely morning, you haven't even started training, and you feel tired already. Thumb rubbing at your forehead in frustration, you look over the harness once again, scraping at your brain for any new idea you might try to finally get those straps tied to your body.

But you know you'll come unsuccessful once again. Mind drifting from one thought to another, you've been nothing but distracted ever since last night.

Closing the door behind you with a quiet thud, Levi quickly headed off in the direction of the fireplace. Rooted to your spot, your eyes returned over the entrance, thoughts wandering to Eren once again. After he had tired himself out crying in the basement, you and Levi made sure to safely escort him to his room. The boy thanked both of you for staying by his side, but you still couldn't get the hollow look inside his eyes out of your mind. His painful sobs still ringing in your ears, you were reluctant to leave him alone in that state. But Levi's warm hand on the small of your back, firmly guiding you towards his own room, made sure you wouldn't change your mind about leaving and turn back around to check on the kid again.

It was well into the night by the time you brought Eren to his chamber, and neither you nor Levi wanted to be out in the open corridors more than necessary. So with a hesitant heart, you had to leave the heartbroken boy behind, to deal with his demons by himself.

"You're still worried?" Levi's voice woke you from your reverie, and you trained your gaze on his back.

Crouched down in front of the fireplace, his arms were working and his back muscles were flexing diligently, their moves visible even through his black long-sleeve. Placing a few big logs one above the other, on the bottom of the hearth, you realized he was preparing to light up the fire. Shame shot through you again at your negligence.

Quickly crossing the room, you gathered your long skirt and squatted next to him, just as he was preparing to lay the smaller logs above the big ones.

"Please, let me. You've already done enough for the evening. It's the least I could do," you said, reaching out your hand and letting your gaze meet his.