Sillage

Chapter 27: Lie. Truth.

TW MENTIONS OF RAPE, SUICIDE, SELF-HARM, MURDER (wow this chapter's heavy)
But also SPICE (not smut yet, but a lot more spice than in chapter 18 so enjoy (¬‿¬ ) ) or as a dear friend would say "small citrus tree" instead of lemon xD

Red.

That's all he sees in front of his eyes.

Red, and the silvery sheen of tears on her cheeks.

Levi knows she tried to wipe them away the moment she heard him enter the infirmary. But the glassy streaks stubbornly remained.

Scarlet blots creating a messy patchwork around her eyes, visible even in the faint moonlight, the acute pain plastered on her face salutes him.

Lips wobbling, she can't even hold his gaze for long. And the moment her eyes dart anywhere but on him, Levi feels a dagger burying itself to the hilt inside his guts.

His eyebrows knit together, an ominous feeling twining its way into his bones.

He's never been one to get angry easily. If living decades in the sewers of humanity taught him one thing, that was to keep his composure no matter what. He wouldn't have survived for so long if he got angry or panicked every time someone stole his food, leaving him empty-stomached for days. Time and time again.

No. The Underground taught him not to get carried away by such feelings.

Instead, he learned patience. How to catch your enemy at their weakest. How to survive.

They may have beat the shit out of him and tried to kill him — even sell or rape him — but Levi patiently waited until he could steal everything they had. Their lives included.

The last trade, the skills to take away someone's life, was a gift from Kenny. Levi's never forgotten his teachings, not even after coming above. Sometimes he wonders what has become of the man, but he's quick to shoot the thought away.

Levi never pretended to be anything more than a miserable thug, anyway.

Humanity's Strongest Soldier? Freedom? Knowledge? Victory?

What a load of bullshit.

He is just doing the thing he's the best at: killing those ugly, filthy monsters. And he is just following Erwin. The only man Levi thinks is capable enough to end all this titan shit and finally stop the useless spilling of blood.

He may be a murderer, but he's seen enough of it. He just wants it to end, and he just wants an explanation — a reason — for all the death clinging to humanity's miserable existence like a pest.

He's only lost his cool a couple of times in his life. And only twice he can remember it clearly.

The first time was when his mother died. Levi cried for days and refused to open the door to anyone who dared knock. Times and times again, he thought how good it would've felt to beat the shit out of those people disturbing his mother's rest.

But he was too small. Too thin. Too young. Too weak.

He was not enough, and he could do nothing but watch her corpse rot day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute. He doesn't remember when he unlocked the door, but somehow Kenny made his way inside.

The rest was history.

And the second time, still vivid in his memory, was when Isabel and Furlan were devoured. But he doesn't need to remember that now.

Stern gaze never leaving her form, Levi sees red.

Something boiling hot leaks into his bloodstream, something foreign yet familiar at the same time. He forces himself to take in a quick breath through his nose, brain advising him to first find out who or what is the reason for her distress. And after that, he can decide what to do next. He can feel the weight of his old knife inside the pocket of his jacket, fingertips tingling at the thought of using it on the person who hurt her.