37 Pain

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Amber

When we pulled up to the pack house, Devon was outside waiting and the moment I stepped out he pulled me into his arms. Heat ran through me and I revelled in the feel of him as we kissed like we had been apart for months.

Then I pulled back and looked at him. He looked tense, but he didn't nearly look as bad as when I had returned the first time.

"I love you," he whispered so low it was almost like a breath. I stiffened, and he did the same, apparently realizing what he had said.

I tried to think of how to respond. I felt something, but was it love? I didn't even know what love was.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that Amber."

"You don't have to be sorry for how you feel."

"I've been trying not to push you."

"You haven't been pushing me. Remember? You let me go, and I came back."

He just gripped me harder, but not so hard it hurt. It didn't feel like confinement, it felt sweet, like protection and comfort.

Maybe I wasn't trapped at all, because if I asked he would do everything in his power to see that what I wanted would be so.

Being here with him felt right. Maybe it felt like home, although I really had no way to define what that might be. Life with the hunters hadn't been home. Living with Sarah had maybe felt like it, but this was as good, or even better.

All too soon, we became aware of people around us, and we pulled apart. My cheeks felt hot, and I wondered how many of these people had seen our embrace. I supposed if they hadn't figured out I was his mate from me sleeping in the alpha's room when I visited, they were probably certain now.

Oh well. I guess they'd have to get used to the idea of a hunter raised human as luna, and I'd have to figure out how to manage the position somehow.

Devon took my hand and led me into the house. We ate a late supper together with Sarah, her parents, and Dan, and then he swept me up to the room. Most of my clothes were already in there, and I slipped into the bathroom to shower and change into my pajamas.

When I came out, he was just in boxers, and I joined him in bed. I was becoming increasingly used to having him there and sleeping alone had been hard when he was gone, so I snuggled in as close as I could get to him.

"I know you just got here, but Goldhollow is a pack a few hours away, and they've lost a couple wolves in a similar situation to ours. They think they have a lead, and the alpha invited me to come talk about closer cooperation."

I nodded, not sure what he wanted to hear.

"I thought about bringing you, if you wanted to come, but I guessed you'd probably want to settle in and get used to things. I also don't want to overwhelm you." He sounded regretful.

"I understand."

"I'll have to be away overnight."

"I'll be fine. Guess we better get a good sleep tonight then," I said. I didn't want to see him go, but the fact that he was busy was no surprise to me. Two days wasn't that bad, I told my sinking heart.

The next morning he worked until it was time to leave. I unpacked some of my stuff, but then I went to find him.

I was pretty sure he would be in his office. I'd avoided the place on my previous visit after the way I'd found him, but I'd have to get used to it eventually. He said he was in process of moving to a different one, but even after that, this door would still be here, and the memories it brought back along with it. I didn't want to go there, but I did want to see him, and I had dealt with scarier things, if not more emotionally painful. Avoiding it only made it worse in the long run.

Heart pounding, I knocked on the door, and he called to enter. I turned the knob, and pushed open the door.

He glanced up, and his eyes widened in surprise. I guess he hadn't expected me to come here.

"I thought I'd come see you before you left," I explained, since he looked quizzical.

"I would have come say goodbye to you, first," he said.

"I know, but this way we've got a bit more time...unless I'm disturbing you?"

"Of course not."

I walked around his desk, feeling like I was trespassing, but also like I needed to do it. I looked down at the piles of papers. If I tried, I could make out some of what it said. I sighed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'll tell you later," I said. He had more important things to think about right now.

He smiled wryly. "You know, that doesn't help me focus."

I blushed. "Oh, it's just I should practice reading. I only learned as much as Mrs. Lyndon thought would be useful, so I'm not very good at it."

"Well, you're free to read anything you want around here for practice. Or I can find you a tutor if you want. Or maybe the vampire could help you, isn't that what he does?" He pulled me over so I was sitting on him sideways.

"Maybe." I settled myself more comfortably. "See? I am distracting you."

"The best distraction."

"I should go." I didn't want to. He was so warm and smelled so good.

"No, no, I'll behave. I promise." He grabbed the paper he had been looking at when I came in and held it up in front of him. "See?"

I just laughed quietly and leaned into him while he worked.

—————

The time for Devon to leave came and went. We practically full on made out in front of a bunch of the pack, which was embarrassing, but that feeling only hit me after we'd stopped and my brain returned to full function.

At supper it was only Sarah and me, which surprised me. "Where's Dan?" I asked her.

"He didn't tell you? He's working with the scouts to try to track down the missing wolves—although we both know he's really only looking for Megan."

Her name didn't hurt as much as it had a few weeks ago. I was still jealous, I couldn't help myself, but I couldn't help but sympathize that the hunters had her in their clutches. If they had treated a regular human as badly as they had treated me, what would they do to a hated wolf?

"He won't admit it, but the bond between them is affecting him. Must be pretty confusing for a vampire."

"Yeah," I agreed. A dull, cramping pain hit my abdomen.

"I'd be lying if I said I hadn't found his struggle a bit funny to watch, but now that she's missing, I just feel bad for him."

Another wave of pain came, harder than the first. I gripped the table.

Sarah continued talking. "You know I didn't trust him at first, but I have to admit you were right about him—" More pain, I whimpered. "—Amber, what's wrong?"

"My stomach hurts," I complained.

She looked worried. "Food poisoning? I don't know what could be wrong with you, I'm not an expert in human problems."

I shook my head. "I don't know, I've always been fairly healthy before...ow, that hurts." I wrapped my hands around my abdomen.

Sarah's eyes narrowed and she pulled her phone out of her pocket. It rang a few times, followed by the sound of Devon's voice, although I couldn't make out his words.

"What the hell are you doing?" she snapped. "A likely story. Your mate is experiencing a lot of pain right now thanks to your 'meeting'."

I couldn't make out the low hum of his response, and I still had no idea why Sarah was upset this time, as another wave of pain slammed me hard.

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