Vigilante | H.S.

44 | List

April 24

Harry Styles

It's been three days since I last saw my Daisy, and it was weird to say, but it felt like the longest and most boring three days of my life.

It's the longest I've gone in a while without seeing her face, even if it was just seeing her after I came back late from work, and she was already asleep.

I didn't hate to admit it anymore; I missed her.

It wasn't like I wanted to leave her, I had work and I had to leave the city for a few days for a job.

I knew she didn't sleep well when she was alone, and to be honest neither did I.

I told her that I wanted her to call me whenever she needed to, no matter what time it was or no matter what I was doing. I never wanted her to go through a nightmare alone, I knew what it was like.

I knew she wouldn't be as stupid as I was, using drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of the dreams so I'd forget them.

I'd seen her have a bad dream a few times, normally just being restless in her sleep and whimpering like she was in pain, and all I knew to do was hold her and hope she would remember she wasn't alone, which always seemed to work.

But now I couldn't do that, and she was alone, there was nothing I could do.

It was so strange to me, to have someone take over your mind completely. She was all I fucking thought about, the only thing I cared about. I'd never had to question anything until I met her, she was working her way into my head and fixing things I didn't know had to be fixed.

Everything was different when it came to her, something made her so special. Maybe it was the sweet smile of hers, or the sound of her laugh that made my stomach to that weird fucking tingly thing. Maybe it was the way she cared for me, she made sure I was alright and she trusted me to do the same to her.

She confused me. How could one person make me question my morals that I had lived by my whole life? I shouldn't smoke, I shouldn't drink so much, I shouldn't be rude to people just because I could.

Manners were the new thing she had been scolding me for, thanking people when I got her favourite coffee from a little cafe so I could have an excuse to see her every morning, holding the door open for the person behind. Most of me fucking hated it, that just wasn't who I was. But there was that part of me that found pleasure in doing those things, because I knew it would make her happy even though I hadn't been telling her I was doing those things.

I still text her every day, asking how her day was. I knew she liked it when I did it and I liked her responses.

Like yesterday she told me about her new plant that she had bought to replace one of the many cactuses she had that she couldn't keep alive.

She sent me a picture of her with it and she looked so genuinely happy that it made me smile. Which only ended up with Louis teasing me and calling me a smiley little bitch.

Speaking of keeping things alive, I don't think either Zayn or Louis are going to be alive for much longer.

Being trapped in a car with them for two days was one of the most painful things I had ever experienced, and I've been shot and stabbed more times than I could count.

If they didn't stop fucking arguing I was going to drive full speed into a building.

We had gone further out into the city, and we were working every second of the day and night. I didn't get a minute free to go and see Diana, I couldn't spend the nights with her like I wanted to.