𝓡𝓾𝓵𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼 -𝐓. 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧

chapter 33

"life is so over confident. Always taking different turns without our permissions and consciousness"

~R.I.S

"NO . No spicy. It's total hell fo-"

I was so lost in the conversation whilst looking at Matthew that I mistakenly forgot to notice the broad chest in front of me and we collapsed.

I immediately lost control over my body. My legs dragged two to three steps back.

As I was about to fall and hit myself to the ground , two hands gripped me. One holding onto my upper arm tightly whilst the other wrapped around my waist.

His breath spanned over the skin of my neck.

I felt who it was.

First time being so close with a new person would of course alert me that it's not the person I wanted or had been so close to.

I held myself back together to pieces again and stood up while Mathew's hands left my body.

Who the fuck be walking like an idiot to make me trip?

I gritted my teeth and looked forward.

In those seconds and moments, I failed to notice if they said sorry or not.

Once my eyes fell on that person , I knew it forthwith that he had apologized over a million times in those seconds.

It was none other than Ben's most worried face.

"I am sorry" he grimaced.

"Are you okay?" Matthew asked even before Ben could finish, his eyes fixated on me.

"I am okay and-" I replied to Matthew and looked at Ben.

"You Bloody Cucumber" I smiled and he hugged me.

We broke the hug and he smiled.

"How are you girl?" He asked.

"Doing as usual.... And oh" I looked at Matthew because he was standing awkwardly , looking he was interested in those designed tiles on the floor.

"Ben this is-" I was going to introduce him when someone's words and sounds of footsteps interjected.

"Ben I was wondering where you were. I sear-" that haunting voice froze me. My legs gave me little thrust. I couldn't move because I know his voice stopped producing sentences because his eyes were fallen on me.

Do what were you doing. Don't let it harm you. Don't let him harm you. He's just a person who you hate. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't matter. It doesn't feel. It does nothing except being a futile topic. Forget.

I took a deep breath whilst keeping my eyes closed.

I opened them again and looked around to let the reality shrink in.

I licked my lips and started "so yeah , Mathew , Ben . Ben he's Matthew" I kept on saying what I was , as if I didn't care about his existence. In my coated personality, I surely didn't.

"Hi nice to meet you, Matthew" Ben extended a hand and Matthew gently took it happily until his facial expressions changed.

I was furrowing at the sudden change . Matthew's mouth dramatically opened "Oh my Holy God , you're Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Strange. Oh my god." His excitement made us chuckle. Matthew looked at me with his biggest smile and wide eyes "Yo-you are friends with one of my favorite celebrity and you didn't even tell me all this time?"

I giggled a bit and replied "I didn't know he was one" I joked .

"You wouldn't wanna lie, would you?" He looked at me and smiled.

I nodded my head to say no.

"Oh my gosh, a-and you are , you are Loki"

Fuck. Why?

I swallowed and bit my inner skin in the feeling of an upcoming anxiety attack.

"Ehehe, hi bud" his nervous made sure he was confused

"Yeah Tom what were you saying?" Ben came in between.

He cleared his throat "yes , um We were going to meet Mr. Furgeuson , want to go now?" He asked.

Who's we?

You shouldn't think about it , it's his life. He's no one to you.

"Yeah sure, why not? Zawe arrived?" Ben asked, he asked like he just answered my question.

"Yeah"

"So alright people, we are gonna meet again. See you soon" he said and they both left.

They did left. But I was in great confusion.

Because there was no reason to have an anxiety attack for. But the anxiety sensation was still there.

It might be gone soon. I should probably walk outside from this place.

"Shall we go now?" Matthew asked like he read my mind.

"Yeah, sure" I smiled fakely and started to walk.

It felt like everything was going upside down.

"Can't believe you didn't tell about your celebrity friends" Matthew chuckled.

"Sorry" I replied absent minded and didn't react to his comment as much as I should have because I was in a inner battle with myself.

This feeling. This feeling felt different. It didn't feel as if everything was going to kill me or negative thoughts.

It felt as if nothing mattered. All mattered was how I was shattered. All those broken thoughts mattered. Those words that left his mouth two months ago did. But lives and other existence didn't.

I was lost in my thoughts so much that I didn't notice Matthew stopped.

"Woah woah, fast lady , aren't we supposed to stop here?" He asked, bringing me back.

Once I got my consciousness back, I knew what I needed. And I knew I needed it right away.

"Yes. Um Matthew, could you wait here for me for a bit? I need to use the lo- I mean washroom" I asked.

"Sure thing. I'll be waiting right here for you" he smiled.

I took my heels and jogged to my only place.

Out of the palace.

That exact same place.

I ran to the bench and instead of seating, I got on my knees.

My eye rained and my mouth let out silent sobs. My eye lids were foggy.

"Why god why? Why all this shits with me only. Why? Why don't you go and find someone else?" I cried out "why did you only found one heart to play with?"

"It is two that he's playing with"