Redamancy | Harry Styles Fanfiction (ongoing)

Chapter Twenty-one

"Push me up against the wall
Don't take it easy
You like it hard like me
It's what you need
Let's get naked and explore
Our inner secrets
For what it is"

a/n: i think I'm so slick, for using one of my baby daddy's song for another baby daddy. In honour of Ringo and Harold's friendship, here's TiO

Harry Styles

There was something new in her eyes yesterday, something I'd never seen before- pain.

Pain and fear, I saw it trapped in her, I saw love too, but only the love she was consciously forced to feel. She didn't argue with me last night, neither did she care to stand up for herself even when she was right.

It was like she just immediately surrendered, with the unconscious apologies and the quietness I realised that she'd grown up doing this, and so, it was the only way she knew how to react; apologise and stay quiet.

I will never forget the genuine fear that flashed in her eyes when she thought I'd hit her, pain makes us so helpless, so defenceless. Repeatedly reminding us how we are to never recover from the hurt we've felt.

I think about her and I see little girl confused beyond her understanding, unsure of whom to trust and whom to love, I see her childhood just like she described it to me, I see her sitting by herself, thinking about how much better her future would be, I see her refusing to wear anything other than full sleeved shirts because she was scared somebody would take her mother away if they knew what she did to her.

I held her close to me as she drifted off to sleep in my arms, slow, soft drawn out breaths and glazed eyes. Even asleep, I'd see her shift around and close her fists. Thinking about her childhood made me well up, I kissed her tear stained cheek while she slept beside me.

I held her to sleep, mostly with the motive of letting her know that everything that happened to her in her childhood wouldn't repeat again,

I wanted-no- needed her to know that she was respected and appreciated and.. loved.

I could spend all of my life proving to her that I loved her and I'd be happy to do so. I stroked her hair and kissed her softly while she cried silently into my chest, I promised her that she was going to be okay and that I'd never let anything bad happen to her again.

But all I really remember from last night are the words she told me just before she fell asleep, "you're all I've got now Harry. Please don't leave me".

Those from her mouth was like a dagger to my heart,  it physically hurt to watch someone ruin someone with such a pure, beautiful heart.

It is beyond my belief, how someone was cold enough to hurt their own child, an angel at that. I threw the covers over us and tucked her in, ensuring that I kept her close.

In all the five months I've known her, not once did she ever let me even speculate how much she hurt and pain she'd been through, forever smiling and always putting other's needs before her own, just the sweetest and selfless person I know.

I woke up this morning feeling driven and purposeful, I called Jeff and told him that I wouldn't be able to have any sort of meetings today and that I needed a day's off, lucky for me, he didn't seem to need much convincing.

My eyes opened to Aurora still tucked away in my neck, soft snores, one foot with a sock and one without, with her arms thrown around my torso like a bear. I smile to myself when I see her knocked out cold, without making much noise I wake up and detangle myself from her, setting her down on her side of the mattress, failing to do so, for she immediately just ends up rolling to my side.