Love, Helena

Chapter 18

Being a gifted child was a tough calling in life- at least that's what Lennon concluded. Ever since he was young, he always felt isolated from his peers, as though there was a different filter through which he saw the world. He could not exactly help how his brain made connections easier, saw patterns, memorized them, jumped to practical conclusions. It not only allowed him to be proficient in his studies, but that whole process applied to life in general: his family, friends, people he was surrounded with. It was probably why he understood things he shouldn't have been able to at his age.

Like how much of a useless man his father is, or how self-destructive his teenager rebel sister used to be, how his mother tried to shelter them from the reality of things and take the brunt of it alone. He was jealous sometimes of how clueless and carefree friends his age seemed, and more often than probably healthy, wished he could have that little piece of ignorance-induced bliss.

At sixteen years old, he shouldn't be busy thinking which college to go, or how far away he'll be from home, what complications could arise for his family, if Ophelia will be fine without him around. Of course he had never felt like he was obligated to seek or care about any of these things, but that never meant that he couldn't or didn't, and it's not like his presence would change much either. 

In the past couple of years since he had advanced two grades exactly in high school, it was difficult for him to make friends or keep them. He was the kind of guy people would point at, either to talk about his genius, his background, or his potential. He was never the guy people approached to befriend. So he kept to himself mostly, focusing on his studies and competitions. 'A natural over-achiever', his teachers would say at every occasion. It didn't seem so impressive to him.

He worried at times, that he might be too indifferent to everything around him, even if he can't help but be aware of it all. He didn't exactly possess Alessandro's natural good guy charm, or Amber's temper and fierceness, or even Ophelia's innocence and joy- a trait he was certain she'll keep all her life. He was just... gifted, smart, clever, and other variations of the same words. He didn't feel exactly misunderstood. That would be a blatant lie, especially with a mother like his. She always read him like an open book, and that was something he clung to whenever he felt detached from his environment. No matter who he becomes or what he achieves, he'll always be a mother's child, and that grounded him.

That was precisely what brought on that spiral of thoughts. Leaving for college would mean leaving his family's side, and he wasn't sure how his mom would react to it.  He wasn't going to the college next city, or even the neighbouring country. He was going to a college on a whole different continent, miles away. The thought didn't particularly excite or terrify him- however his mother's reaction did.

"Are you sure about this?" Ales ruffled his hair and took a seat at the table, rolling an apple in his fingers. He had only told Alessandro about the decision he made. "It's the best there is, but you also have your pick of wherever, it's a matter of preference at this point."

Lennon nodded absently. He'd been staring at his laptop screen for the past half hour without actually focusing on whatever was displayed. "What do you think?"

"It is your choice, you know that right?" Ales chewed slowly, "Mom would never deprive you of it, she'll support your decision no matter what."

"I know that," Len sighed, "Even if she doesn't approve, she'll never tell. That's what bothers me."

"What is bothering you?" Suddenly a new voice joined the conversation. Looking up, Ales and Len saw Helena entering the kitchen, followed by Xavier, both in outerwear still, with Xavier's jacket around their mom's shoulders.