Love, Helena

Chapter 8 -suite-

Helena could barely wrap her head around what he said, let alone formulate a reply, but she didn't draw away from him or shut him out. He took that as a good sign.

Xavier had been dying for years to tell her and get it off his chest. Even though it would be selfish of him, but at this point, even that couldn't stop him. "I have always loved you, Helena Wren. Sometimes I can't help but think the universe brought us together only to play a sick joke of taking you from me in the cruelest way."

"I-it can't be-

"Do you remember your trip to Ibiza the summer before you moved to our city?" He asked making her scrunch her brows in confusion.

"How do you know about-

He smiled wistfully, "I am aware you wouldn't remember but... Ever since that day in Ibiza, stuck in the elevator with the lights out-"

That sounded familiar, she thought, and she really was trying hard to remember, but the memories from that time of her life were all so hazy and blurred together.

"I was on vacation with my family there as well, and we happened to stay in the same hotel." He took a deep breath, "You know I've been claustrophobic since I was a child. That day in the elevator, I thought I was stuck in a place where no one would come searching for me, that no one would find me. Not to mention the lights were out too, so I was hit by a strong panic." Helena gave him a sympathetic, and slightly apologetic look for not being able to recall. 

"I remember it all, because no one had ever been so collected and caring enough to think to calm me down in that type of situation- usually people panicked when I did and looked for ways out of the situation, which is a normal reaction, I understand." He chuckled, "I was not even aware you had been there with me until I felt you take my hands in yours. You crouched beside me and counted, telling me to breathe slowly as you did. You started telling me about the stupid clerk at reception, the incredible view from the outdoor pool, and even your chubby pet guinea pig that almost killed itself in 17 different ways exactly," Helena smiled at the memory, "Though I'd calmed down slightly, you still talked to me, distracted me. You said everything will be alright, that they'll find us pretty soon and that nothing bad will happen, and I never believed those words more than when you told them."

"You were that boy in the elevator..." they were but hazy memories from that day in her head, "I never got to see you, never got your name."

"It was utter chaos once we were out of that elevator." He said, "Our families both rushed us away instantly. Mine were in panic thinking I must've lost it being enclosed in that space for so long. Yet, I never forgot the girl with the long blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen. Maybe it was a surreal impression considering the circumstances, but you were burned in my brain ever since."

"I can't believe that was you..." 

Never in twenty years had he mentioned this to her, not even when they met again at school. Nobody has ever brought back memories from her past simply because she had nobody left from those times, but that trip to Ibiza has been the last she'd had with her parents. She remembered the panicked boy in the elevator where they were stuck for an hour and some in the darkness. Her mother had always suffered from anxiety, so she was familiar to some extent with panic attacks, and she saw her father multiple times calming her mom down. She had a certain hang of it that maybe other fifteen year olds didn't, so she didn't think much of the boy's meltdown- she didn't remember it, but that was probably due to the fact that she didn't know him, didn't even get a look at him then.

"At sixteen, I did have a girlfriend before, but when I met you, I believed it was love. Not love at first sight, really. I didn't even properly see you until they got us out." Xavier looked at Wren with endearment. It made her heart swell to a painful point. "When I saw you walk into our class, I was completely gobsmacked. I thought I was dreaming, having illusions. You were the new girl everyone suddenly took interest in, and when Zach voiced it out to our group that you were off limits, I knew my chances with you would be slim to nonexistant. You were undoubtedly beautiful, and Zach was so popular that he had everyone under his charm. When he called shots, others would back off." He huffed, as though annoyed at the memory, "Every time we got paired up, put in a situation where I had a chance with you, I would give into Zach's ministrations and let him take my place, because I thought he was my best friend and that I shouldn't be his competition- I don't think I could have been, in high school. Although you and I still got close because we always hung out together, you seemed so happy with Zach I felt guilty for the feelings I harboured. I couldn't ruin what you two had... I hadn't fought for you but I hoped somehow you'd notice me. I was stupid because I did have my chance and I gave it away."