Your Big Break

twenty three

"Soundcheck Lucy!" Dom shouted before banging on the door. I stopped kissing Tom and sat back, examining the situation we'd gotten ourselves in "Hey! You two better not be having sex in there! At least do it after the fucking show!"
"No. I'll be out. I'll meet you there."
"Yeah. Put your fucking clothes on and head out there as soon as." As soon as he walked away me and Tom started laughing. I fell forward onto him and just couldn't stop, finding it way too funny
"You should probably get up. We can have fun later."
"Nooo. I'll be too tired later." He kissed my temple gently
"Then we can resume whenever you want."
"And you're okay with that?"
"You're acting all shy for someone who let me give her all those hickeys. I mean you just sat back and let me. And those noises you made were-"
"Shit!" I cursed after sitting up and examining my barely clothed chest. He wasn't wrong. "What were you tryna do? Eat me alive?"
"Well you enjoyed it. Don't worry. You can wear one of my shirts."
"But then my outfit-" he kissed my forehead
"You'll look beautiful whatever you wear." I closed my eyes as he gently kissed my forehead again "And you really need to stop feeling so ashamed. Talk to me yeah?"
"Just never talked about sex before."
"Well we can talk about it later. Okay" he kissed my forehead once more before rolling his eyes at the banging on the door "Calm down I'm just making her finish!" Tom yelled making me try and contain a smirk
"Ew. Too much information. Move it" once I heard Dom stop I stood up and fumbled about in toms bag for a shirt
"That's a pretty big promise ya made there" I teased, pulling it over and smiling in the mirror at how it perfectly covered everything "better keep it."
"Trust me. After this show I will-"
"Now!" I rolled my eyes and pecked his lips
"Cmon. Tell me all about those things later."

"Wow baby you did so-" I cut off his praise by kissing him roughly, taking him by complete surprise. He did pull me away from him after a few seconds when he realised though "Calm down. I've got a job to do." He chuckled though I could tell he would have let it happen if we weren't in the same room as both of the boys. I rolled my eyes and stood on my tip toes so I could reach his ear
"Blow it off. Who knows, might blow you." I stood back down flat on my feet smirking. The other boys in the room heard nothing and kinda wrote off the two of us kissing since they were used to it by now. Tom raised his eyebrows
"Hmm?" He leaned down since it was now his turn to whisper "Go to your dressing room. I'll be in there in five."
I did as I was told and walked back to my own dressing room down the hall, a little surprised he gave in so easily, but when he entered the room calmly and still with a shocked look, I realised I'd got the opposite of the desired effect
"What?"
"The fuck did that come from?" He asked, chuckling as he spoke "You just said you'd blow me."
"Yeah I know. Why? Not fancy it?"
"You know I'd fucking love that." He said smirking, but as I made my way towards him he stopped me undoing his belt "But not right now. Not here."
"But before-"
"We didn't take it further because it wasn't right. I wanna treat you with respect and I don't think it's very respectful having you do that to me here." I once again began to tear up a little "Hey. It's okay I'm not mad."
"I know. I just want you to stop treating me like I'm so fucking fragile. It's frustrating."
"So it's frustrating that I have morals now?"
"I never said that. You just keep putting it off and not doing anything when I clearly want it. It's like you don't want to do anything with me cus you see me as some...some..."
"You're getting worked up about it. Calm down princess. Cmere." He beckoned me over but I shook my head "You wanna take a break? From us?"
"No course I don't i-"
"Then what do you want!" He raised his voice and flung his arms out in sheer frustration but it made me scream and cover my face "Lucy? Lucy I'm sorry baby. You know I wouldn't hit you. Right?" I shook my head and moved away from him, curling up on the couch to try and hide away from the real issue here "Right?" There was a knock at the door and Dom shouted through
"Oh photoman!" He sung "You're needed"
"One minute mate." Tom said, clearly trying to not sound panicked although he definitely was
"Tom there's like no time mate. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. It's fine Dom. Just head out okay. A few minutes is nothing." He walked over to me, squatting down to be level
"Go away. You're not fucking touching me. Go away." He sighed and stood up
"You really think I'd hit you?" He sounded so sad but I couldn't lie
"I don't know Tommy. I really don't. You scared me."
"You were talking about having sex with me before!" I could tell him acting out was purely because he didn't understand. But it wasn't making it much better "What do you want from me?"
"Tom!" Dom shouted, banging on the door
"I'm coming dom. Calm down." He took a deep breath "See you later babygirl."
"Don't fucking say that to me. I'm not nobody's babygirl."
"Okay Lucy. I'll be right back later. Is that alright with you?"
"Not tonight." I mumbled, not looking up because I knew how disappointed he'd look
"Hey. That's alright. I'll send Dom to tell ya when we're leaving." I calmed down a lot at that. I knew deep down he wasn't who my ex was. But that didn't stop me getting scared at the way he acted so different yet so similar "I care about you. Okay?" I noted how he darent say he loved me, making me realise how tuned in he was to what had happened to me, and how I reacted. I nodded
"Just go to your show Tom."