once, later | trent alexander arnold

twenty

OMG GUYS I'm so sorry, i don't have an excuse that can make up for the huge gap op time i have not been updating. I have just not had any interest or motivation to be honest. I won't promise any regular updates but i will try my best, hope you enjoy!

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And as he held my hand I would come to the realization that all the time and people that went by my life would not change how I felt about him. Looking into his usual brown eyes were not something out of the ordinary. They would sparkle  with the look of mine. And just like all other times, being present around him just reminded me of the heartbreak, but also the love I felt for him. But noticing the crowd around us made me feel pathetic. He broke my heart, he left me. It was not the other way around, yet here I was, waiting for the opportunity, the time he would tell me he wanted me back and the seconds that passed of me hugging him and yelling 'YES'. I don't know how my feelings will vanish, I don't know what he could possibly do to break my heart further and make me notice that it was over and that I had to leave it. I was a love sick human not having the ability to surpass what should have been left behind the day he showed up with another girl. The day he decided thatI wasn't worthy of him.

I slip my hand out of his, feeling ashamed after everything that crossed my mind. Heat tingled up my body and I could feel the swell of tears building behind my eyes. But they didn't get the chance to roll down my face before Hendo tackled me down the coach with a big hug. His fit arms felt comforting and I breathed softly down his neck, feeling the comfort radiating from his presence. Hendo had always been like the big brother at Liverpool for me, his eyes always glistened with happiness and his age gave him all the maturity I needed present. "We missed you so much, its been so long we only ever see your awesome pics on instagram these days" He chuckles while he lets go of me. I smile at him, not having the courage to talk. I can feel Trents eyes burning into the side of me, but I don't dare looking back, scared of the look I would have to face. I sit on the coach for a few minutes, chatting about nonsense with the boys. Trent doesn't say much, only keeps his eyes on the TV whilst sometimes looking up at me. When it happens I'm quick to part my eyes from his stare. 

After Tamara offers me a cup of tea and I finish it I stand up with my jacket tight under my arm. "Time for me to leave guys" I say as I slowly back towards the hallway with my face towards the. "Loverboy Dele waiting outside for you Dais?" the voice of the man that hasn't spoken for half an hour says. I drag in a shaky breath, shocked at his statement. His eyes are furious, sparkling with something I can't put a finger on, envy? anger? I release a chuckle trying to make the moment seem less awkward. Joe sits there with his arms crossed looking with ball sized eyes at Trent, chocked at his statement just as much as I am. I turn around fast and walk out the door while calling out a  quiet 'goodbye'. 

Coming here was a mistake, and I would pay for it with the tears that started rolling down my cheeks while I made my way down the bright staircase. As I reach the outside I drag in a long a cold breath, waiting for the tears to day up on my cheeks. God, how can a person be this pathetic? my thoughts make me cry even more. This isn't my fault, why would he say that  making it sound like I had done something wrong? As I'm about to leave I hear the door behind me open. "Daisy, wait" Trents says quietly. I turn around swiftly, now completely furious at him."What do you want from me huh? You have no right to shame me for anything, did you hear that? No right!" A cry leaves my throat. "I loved you Trent, I loved you so much. Way before all your fame and money. I never stopped loving you, I was kind and caring, never once did I do wrong by your side" I wipe my cheek with the sleeve of my  shirt, but I wasn't finished. "You left me, you neglected me, you cheated on me! do you need me to say more? You have no right to ever talk badly about me or what I'm doing with others because while I was deeply in love with you, you had your other girls, so don't blame this on me. Im done with you Trent, Im too tired to keep trying to get this right, but it was never my job to get this right, I never did it wrong, you did" He looks at me in awe, taken back my my sudden outburst and reaches a hand out for me to grab, but i take a step back and turn around, walking far away from him without getting a word in response.