once, later | trent alexander arnold

three

In your white shirt and black jeans you looked so handsome, just like all the other days. Your hair was the usual and I noticed you had put on your off-white shoes that you usually never wear because you were too scared to get them creased. I felt special just for that. How ridiculous isn't that. You had shown up at my porch like you had promised and in your hands you had a big bouquet of flowers and your lips were curved into a big smile, showing me a glimpse of your white teeth. 

I had ran into your arms once you stood there and opened up your brace. I hadn't seen you for three days, but my god did it feel like three years. You told me I looked very nice and I would compliment you back, even though you looked like any other day, except the shoes of course. At the restaurant you were kind and talked to me the entire time, it was never quiet and I hadn't felt that happy in a while. 

You had dropped me off at home because of early training. You had told me that you needed to train harder, you wanted to play for the first team soon. I gave you a kiss and with the flowers in my hand I walked in through the door of my parents tiny home.

When I was laying in my bed later I drifted to sleep with you on my mind. Maybe I was on yours too. The next morning I woke up and sent you a 'good luck at training! pick me up later?' with  that I waited. And again it went hours, at 5pm you replied. You sad you were sorry and that your phone had been acting up the whole day and that you hadn't seen the message. I told you that it was okay and that we could do something the next day. You replied with a heart.

The next day I bicycled to your house, used the key you gave me and walked in, and for the first time in months I had seen you sleep past 9 am. You were laying in your bed with your mouth slightly parted and your eyes would twitch sometimes. I tapped on your shoulder but you didn't seem to feel it, I nudged a bit harder and in just a second you had grabbed me by my waist and dragged me by your side and dugged your head deep down my neck. You had told me how much you had missed me and how the training the previous day had torn you. I offered to make you breakfast but you didn't reply, we just laid there for minutes upon minutes until we both feel asleep.

I don't ever doubt that you loved me dearly, you didn't show it like me. But sometimes it felt like you loved me even more than how much I loved you. Sometimes you would be distant and forget to text me, but that was you and I loved all of you. It was okay that you forgot to reply, because I remembered, our relationship was balanced. You would cook and bring me flowers and hold me tight, and I did thing you wouldn't do. It was an equal field and it was perfect. I know you were busy. You were so talented and I knew that you would be drafted sooner than later. I gave you all the time you needed to make the process faster, this was your dream and in no universe did I have the right to stand in the way. But sometimes you would forget me for too long.