thirteen

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The next day wasn't out of the ordinary, the morning was quiet and the sun was low on the sky meaning it was early. My mornings on schooldays consist of waking up early and quickly getting ready to later hurriedly walk out of the house and stomp away to school, very rarely in something other than sweatpants and a shirt. No one noticed a change in my life after the breakup, I rather didn't show my condition to the rest of the schools, one part of it being the fact that not many people knew why I possibly would have changed so drastically over just a few days. At home it was different, I was at home often as a result of not visiting Trent anything. I would spend more time in my room doing things that I usually wouldn't spend time on before. Now that I think about it, my life didn't have a drastic change, not the way it was supposed to have considering how big of a part he was in my life. It felt a little bit lonely, but not a big change compared to how it was before him. I wonder if he ever thinks about the changes of his life with me, and the life without me.

Today though wasn't a school day, it was a bright and early sunday, time did indeed pass fast these days, It had already been couple months and my last year of high schools was coming to an end, thankfully. I was starting to look into the future options, which route in life I should be taking. I never really had a plan, maybe I should stay in Liverpool, close to my parents and just go on with my life, or maybe I should move to London and apply to some worthy university and rent a small, one bedroom apartment. The most likely option would be just staying here, attending university here and ending up working here, and last but not least dying here. It doesn't sound fun but it sounds safe and comforting. No fear of ending up all alone in a big city far from home, having to survive all on your own. Trent is in Liverpool, not in London.

In the mornings I would scroll through all social media possible, today was no different, I would each day gain a few more followers, slowly making the number grow bigger and bigger. I would look into my new followers sometimes, looking out if anyone special had followed me. I would post a picture of myself or the sunset view from my bedroom window about once a week, there was not anything special to be seen on my Instagram. But the comment that Jordan had done rose some eyebrows, why would a married man comment on a teenagers picture, and also follow her? I was not bothered enough to post an explanation, trying to prevent any attention that would relate me to Trent. If I would do something along these lines everyone would think I was doing it for attention. No thanks, I rather not get into that seat. I have no obligation to explain something to people I don't know. But today something was out of the ordinary out of the people that had started following me, someone had followed and dropped a like from the same user, @ dele. I quickly press on his Instagram username and enter his profile.
"Dele" that's all that is written on his bio, but I quickly find out that he is a footballer from the pictures he has posted. Nice. Another one to wonder about, he has even more followers than Trent, and plays in the England Squad according to his pictures with the jersey on. Maybe I should follow him back, I mean isn't that the point? But what if he thinks I'm an obsessed teenager? Well he did follow me first so that would actually switch the roles. My finger lingers on the follow button but I can't find myself actually pressing it. What if he unfollows me? So what if he did who is he even. He has 7,3 million followers, that's a lot of followers. Why is this making me nervous? he isn't even here! I wait a few minutes before I press the follow button. Nothing happens for the next couple hours, maybe I should post a picture to see if he likes it? No, why would I want him to like my picture, I don't even know him.

But my curiosity does indeed get the best of me and I scroll through my camera roll looking for something that I could possibly post, I stumble across a selfie that I took last week and quickly add a caption.

But my curiosity does indeed get the best of me and I scroll through my camera roll looking for something that I could possibly post, I stumble across a selfie that I took last week and quickly add a caption

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Daisysimone : selfies for days:)

Seconds pass without anything, a few random people likes and comments, but no @ dele pops up in the notifications. I swipe my finger on the screen to update it again, and there it is dele liked and commented your picture.

dele : "😍🦋"

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Hellooo, I feel so guilty! I'm so sorry for not updating anything these months, I was in turkey and I had no constant WiFi and I was quite busy with just chilling honestly, and forgot about the story. I am back though and hopefully I will get better at updating now🦋don't forget to drop your thoughts and votes💕💕

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