Astrophile [J.P]

Chapter 61

~ Dying inside, I was dying inside,

But I couldn't bring myself to touch you. ~

***

The McKinnons' family house was reduced to a rubble when they reached. Sirius was holding up Felicity, knowing full well that his cousin had gone into a shocked state.

She had turned unresponsive just like when Alphard had died. And for Sirius it was like watching the same scenes unfold in front of him with the only difference being that their friend and her entire family had been murdered due to the war that was raging on.

Most of the Order members were already there and they had checked the place already for any one who could have survived the attack but all they had found were dead bodies and ruins.

Terror stricken blue eyes searched frantically for the beautiful blonde girl with olive shaded eyes but what she found instead was Marlene's lifeless figure being brought out of the house along with the rest of her family.

"No..." She sank down on her knees despite Sirius holding her, tears streaking down her cheeks, "this can't be true..."

James was there too and he had immediately come to her, holding her by the arms to steady her, "Felicity..."

She looked up at him with that haunting blank expression on her face, "James, please tell me Marlene is alright... Please..."

"You shouldn't have brought her here," he looked up at Sirius, concern evident in his tone.

"And then what? Force her to stay in the dark regarding all of this?" Sirius shook his head, "I couldn't do that. And even if I could, she was there when we received Amelia Bones' patronus."

"I... I want to go to her," she mumbled, her voice shaking with the sobs choking her from the inside.

James and Sirius exchanged a worried look but the former agreed, holding her gently as he helped her stand up, "alright. We will take you to her."

"I can't believe she... She can't be dead..." Fel held onto James who took her to the place where Marlene's body was laid down and the young woman couldn't bear to look at the lifeless features of her lover.

Those bright olive eyes had closed forever, the cherry pink lips she had kissed so often would never turn up in a smile again and her lovely voice could never grace the surroundings anymore.

Felicity stared at Marlene in horror, her hand reaching out to touch her face, to shake her awake but stopped halfway.

She was trembling.

"James is right, if she stays here, her state will get worse," Remus remarked, looking down at the terrible sight of his friends, one dead and the other mourning her loss.

"What should we do then?"

"I'll take her back," Sirius spoke up, "it's going to be difficult but I'll handle her. You guys look after everything here."

They nodded in agreement though they let Felicity edge closer to Marlene, still staring at her with wide disbelieving eyes.

"Marls," she mumbled, voice breaking with pain, "don't leave me, please."

Her hand was hovering above her face but it seemed as if she couldn't bring herself to touch her. As if she was still thinking that the woman lying in front of her was a hallucination and would disappear the second she would touch her.

Sirius bent down beside her, taking her hand in his, "Fel, she hasn't left you. She's always going to be there in your heart, just like Uncle Alphard."

Her lower lip quivered and a streak of tears rolled down her cheeks, "why do people I care for end up leaving me? Why?"

"Come, we have to go back home."

"I am not going anywhere without Marlene," she mumbled, staring fixatedly at her dead girlfriend, "where she goes, I go."

"Felicity, try to understand," James spoke up in a soft tone, "you can't go with Marlene. You... You have to be strong. For yourself and for her. For all of us."

The Order members had approached them and it was time to take Marlene's corpse to the Headquarters so that the McKinnons could be given a proper funeral. They were among many families that had been martyred in the war and their sacrifice deserved to be honored as well as remembered.

***

Alicia sat by her bed, nursing her best friend back to health but to no avail.

Ever since that night, Fel had gotten struck down with grief and she was too exhausted to move even. Her body was burning up in fever and she had refrained from talking, slowly disintegrating internally.

All of them were worried for her but they couldn't bring Marlene back while there seemed no other way to make her get better either. She couldn't attend the funeral and had not been sent on any Order mission either due to her fragile state. Sirius was most worried for Fel because he did not want to lose her too.

Both of them had lost so many people close to them and were terrified of losing more.

But a war was going on and nothing good could be expected from it.

Alicia had moved in with Fel, Sirius and Remus in the house a Magnolia Crescent as both Sirius and Remus were always out on Order missions and Fel could not be left alone. She had tried her best to make Fel get better but the girl was too devastated.

The doorbell rang so she got up and cautiously checked who was outside, before letting them in. It was Peter so she was conflicted whether or not to open the door.

"Alicia, please, we need to talk."

"I don't want to," she mumbled, "I'm busy with Fel so please leave."

She and Peter had broken up on a very rough note and since then the two had been avoiding each other. Alicia felt as if there was something wrong with him and he had changed while Peter had begun to distance himself from everyone.

But right then he had showed up himself and Alicia was conflicted whether to listen to him or not.

"I will only take a few minutes, please let me in."

She sighed wearily and opened the door, eyes somewhat cold as she spoke, "what do you want?"

Peter looked terrible with his eyes bloodshot and was in a rather disheveled state. It seemed as if he hadn't slept in months.

"What happened to you?" Alicia asked, concern sweeping over her features to see him as such.

"I'm sorry," he did not reply to that question, "I am not going to ask you to take me back because I know you deserve someone much better than me. But I know I have caused you a lot of pain and I... I am really sorry for that."

She took in a deep breath, "Peter, when will you stop degrading yourself?"

He looked down at his feet, an intense guilt crossing his face, "I am not degrading myself." But before she could say something to contradict him, he looked up, "how's Felicity?"

Alicia's lips pursed together in a small frown, knowing he had intentionally changed the subject, "she's been unresponsive."

The conversation was getting awkward between them so Peter spoke up, "I should leave now. Take care of yourself and of Felicity too."

She nodded, opening the door for him to leave though an ache had gripped her heart. It felt as if she was seeing him for the last time.

"Peter," she called out and he turned around, "please don't do anything stupid. All of us care for you, remember that."

The guilt on his face intensified, "I'm sorry."

And with that last remark, he disapparated, leaving Alicia to wonder what had really been going on with him and why it felt as if she would never see him again.

***