Astrophile [J.P]

Chapter 35

~ And I would do anything for you not in words, no I really mean it

Let the whole damn world declare war on me just for standing by your side. ~

***

"Class dismissed."

Rows upon rows of students started shuffling out of the classroom. Felicity piled her parchment and quills in her satchel, looking guiltily at the blank sheet for she had been unable to take notes, with her mind being a constant whirlwind of thoughts. 

She was about to get up and leave as well when she felt a hand clasp her shoulder gently and turned to see Professor Sinistra standing there. "Miss Latvia, you may stay here for a short while." 

Alicia gave her a questioning but Fel nodded, indicating her to leave. Soon the classroom was empty except for the Professor and her student.

Aurora Sinistra took a chair and sat down across from Felicity, her dark eyes were flecked with worry and concern, "is there something wrong, dear?"

Felicity only shook her head in reply. The last thing she wanted was to discuss about her problems with anyone other than her own self. And by the way, Professor Sinistra had stopped her after class, she knew it was better to prepare herself for the questions. It was no wonder that her teacher had found something out of the ordinary in her behavior. For when a student like Felicity loses interest in studies, something definitely has gone wrong.

"I have noticed you are not how you used to be," she resumed, observing Felicity very closely, "you know you can tell me if anything is bothering you, don't consider me just a teacher but a friend as well."

She mumbled, "I'm fine, Professor."

"I don't think so," her voice was soft and motherly as she resumed, "I know that you're not stressed out due to the NEWTs like the rest of the people here, I think it's something much deeper than that."

"There's nothing wrong, I'm grateful for your concern but I'm alright."

"You're one of the best students I have ever met, one of the very few who have maintained remarkable progress in all subjects. And now that you are in the most important academic year of your life, you are well aware that your grades mater much more than before. I have noticed that you seem to be preoccupied during the class, I haven't seen you take notes either and that is very alarming from a student like you."

"I'm... I'm sorry, Professor. It won't happen again," her voice stuck in her throat, how was she supposed to tell her what was the actual reason for the changes she had noticed in her? She wanted to be normal, to study and fit back in her usual routine but it was proving to be much difficult for her.

"I am not reprimanding you, child," she gently placed her hand on hers, looking at her with genuine concern, "I care for you and I can sense that something is not right with you. You don't have to tell me what it is but you have to overcome it."

"Professor, why does it feel as if the whole world has ended by the death of one person," she finally spoke up, facing her and Professor Sinistra was quite taken aback to see her blue eyes well up with tears, "even when every other thing seems normal. The sun rises, the sun sets, but there is this hole which no one can fill up. That hole makes me feel as if there's nothing left."

She didn't break down to tears like Sinistra expected but she didn't resume talking either. Silence engulfed them both until the Professor spoke gently, "the death of our loved ones is very hard to take. I can understand how you feel. But it is in our power to make the best of it."

"But how?"

"I was very young when my parents died," she resumed, "after them I was just as disillusioned as you are now. I had no relatives, no one else to turn to and no one to look after me. In such a situation, the only support for me was my own self. And my friends."

Felicity noticed how a small smile spread on her face when she mentioned her friends.

"Friends are a blessing, child, and those who have sincere friends are the luckiest people on Earth. I believe you are one of them. In times when you feel like there is nothing left, look around at the people who are close to you. Search for the faces which light up on seeing you happy, search for the people who live for you, your true friends. And then you will realize why life keeps going on, and why there are other things for people to keep living for."

As Professor Sinistra advised her, the faces of her friends flashed before her eyes. Alicia, Marlene and Lily who had been trying all in their power to cheer her up since the past few days. Peter Pettigrew who had been making sure she wasn't starving herself by sometimes even smuggling food from the kitchens for her in case she missed breakfast or dinner. Sirius who was always there for her like a rigid support, Remus who had been taking all her notes for her even though she hadn't asked him. And last but not least, James Potter who had become quite like a brother to her, making sure to be of help to her whenever needed. 

Never had she thought that she would make such great friends like the ones she had now. But the truth was that Professor Sinistra was right. These were the faces who lit up on seeing her happy, these were the people who valued her and genuinely cared for her. The Marauders, Lily, Marlene and Alicia; these were her true friends. And she surely was lucky to have them.

"I... I will try my best."

She gently patted her hand and gave her a comforting look, "be true to yourself, Felicity. And don't let any loss bring you down. Also, whenever you feel like you want to talk to someone who would understand you, feel free to come to me."

Felicity nodded, her mind whirring with all the words she had heard from the Professor, "thank you, Professor."

"Best of luck, child. Stay strong."

***