Chapter 3 | why

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Trigger warning for this chapter Mentions of Suicidal thoughts ——————————————————

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Trigger warning for this chapter
Mentions of Suicidal thoughts
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I was physically and mentally exhausted I hated myself because maybe if I had done something different my dad would love me the way he loved him but he was gone and maybe if I had the courage to I could also be gone but I was to scared to do anything, sometimes I would pray at night to be taken and finally have peace.

I lay in bed most nights crying for the girl I used to be the happy little girl that would run around chasing butterflies and singing. I was so happy but every ounce of that happiness left when my dad did what he did, I still have vivid dreams of that night. I was only 12 what did I do to deserve that. It was worse than any beating he has given me.

I woke up in a cold sweat around 6:30 am I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep again so I decided to just get up and get ready for school. When I was finally done it was almost 8 so I rushed out of the house as quickly as I could without making any noises once I was out of the house I made my way to school.

After 5 minutes I made it and I saw my friends at the entrance waiting for me. "What's up bitch" Attis said to me when he saw me and I gasped then shot him a look "oh shoot sorry Mae I won't do it again" he tells me while holding up his pinky for me to intertwine mine with.

"It's okay atti let's go to class we don't want to be late" I tell Attis and the rest of the guys with a big smile they smile at me back and Attis walks nexts to me while the other guys walk behind us. They all are very protective of me saying I was too innocent and that I needed to be protected from all the bad people in the world I always reassured them that no one could be that bad well except my father but I always believe that people could be good.

All the guys also managed to have all classes with me which is weird because we didn't have all the same classes before. The boys and I met my first year of secondary school, I had walked into the class and the teacher had sat me at the table with all of them.

They all had this weird expression on their faces I was very confused and when I spoke up and said hello they all gasped the first of them to talk was Felix "oh my gosh you have an accent" he spoke and I remember they all looked so mesmerized as if they had never heard an accent before. Then Ruslan asked me when I was from "London" I said shyly then that's when Attis spoke "we are all going to be great friends" he said to all of us.

Apollo was the only one who didn't speak very much but he was the most protective out of all of them he would always scare off every mean person who tried to mess with me and he always stayed by my side never let me go anywhere without him. I love these boys with my whole heart and I know they Love me I'm also sure if they knew what my father did to me he would be dead.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt Apollo nudge me a little "are you ok Princess" he asked me and I nodded giving him a smile he smiled back at me and I turned to face the front paying attention to what was going on in the class while I felt Apollo playing with my hair.

A coupe hours had passed and it was now lunch time the boys always forced my to eat because I didn't really have a big appetite so I was never really that hungry but one of them would always bring food from another place and give it to me during lunch but I usually only ate half of it then I would give the rest to ruslan.

The boys didn't really hang out with anyone else but me or themselves they were very closed off from everyone else. I did talk to some other people but it was usually class work related I really didn't like socializing too much especially with how much social anxiety I have.

I'm just glad I met the boys and we became friends their all so good to me and I don't know what I would do without them. After school had ended Apollo walked me home like he always dose if it were up to him he would also bring me to school all the time but I asked him not too because sometimes I didn't know what my father would do in the mornings but when I come home from school he's never home.

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