The Trip - NAMJIN YOONMIN TAEKOOK

Twenty (YM)

Yoongi stays silent after asking about Suga. Maybe this could give him some answers and help Jimin get distracted from what happened in the morning. Not long after, Jimin answers.

- He's my boyfriend. I mean... technically we never broke up, so I call him that. My boyfriend. My soul. My hero.

Each word makes Yoongi blush a little harder and his heart is going crazy. But... he's still not sure why Jimin is saying that. He never did anything that special. After a minute of silence Jimin continues. Letting him know what he remembers and bringing back those memories of when they met...

Many many years ago...

Both their families were very religious. Specially Jimin's one. Going to church was an everyday thing for them. But while Yoongi was going unnoticed by most people there, Jimin stood out. Too much for some. It was the favorite boy there. Adults loved him. But the kids didn't like how he was always treated different than the rest. Half the time he would end up alone, with no one to play with. It was one of those days, when crying his eyes out he hid inside a playhouse. And there...he met him for the first time. The little kid with black hair was playing with a doll and without caring about who Jimin was he offered him his toys. That was his first friend. The one and only Min Yoongi.

Introducing himself as Suga since he wanted to be a rapper someday, the boy stayed by his side at all times. They became best friends. They had holidays together. They met every single week. And Jimin was happy about it but Yoongi...he knew something was happening to him. He knew their families weren't gonna like it. And for a while he thought Jimin was gonna hate it as well. When the youngest was fourteen, Yoongi told him behind the church....

- I'm moving back to Daegu.

- W-What? Why?!

- My mum found out I like... something I shouldn't. We're leaving tomorrow.

- N-No! You can't leave! Suga, please! Stay with me!

- Believe me Jimin, you don't want me here

- Are you kidding me?! Of course I want-

- No! You don't! Jimin I'm... I'm not your friend. I can't be...

With tears in his eyes, Jimin asked why. For him, Yoongi was his entire world. He wanted to be with him forever, hold his hand, grow together and for some reason he really wanted to fill his face with kisses. But Yoongi's answer didn't break his heart. It did the exact opposite.

- Because I love you, Jimin... I'm sorry. I was gonna hide it forever so we could be friends but...I don't think I can settle with that anymore

- M-Me neither

- Eh?

Confused, Yoongi felt a pair of soft lips touch his. His eyes closed allowing him to feel and love every second of it. They were each other's first love. Each other's first kiss. And only a minute after, each other's first boyfriend. But someone else was there and didn't like what he heard and saw coming from those two. The church called both their parents. Jimin was a crying mess and Yoongi's mother was the first one to arrive and take him away. But before they could get in the car, Yoongi got lose from her mother's grab and ran back to the boy he loved. Holding his hands, he made a promise.

- I'll come back for you! Just wait for me!

Currently...

Yoongi remembers that day. And that promise. But not as well and Jimin did. The blond boy continued even though that was the perfect moment to stop. For some reason, he decided to tell him the whole story. And not just the sweet part...

- I believed him. I know for him it was just a kid's promise. But for me it was much more

- I...He was really young...

- We were. I don't blame him for saying something like that so lightly. I don't hate him for it either. It's what I needed to hear back then...

- ...Can I ask why?

- They said I was sick. I needed to accept god. I had the devil inside and I was the worst case they've ever seen. The priest said it was my fault. He tried to cure me but he said I was tempting him. I was making him sin. But I...I swear with my life - he can't help to cry - I didn't want...I didn't want to tempt anyone. I d-didn't want him to...

- He did that to you, didn't he? That's why you don't like others to touch you...

Jimin doesn't answer. His tears are uncontrollable now. And Yoongi has mixed feelings. A part of him feels destroyed to know his boy had to go through that. Another part wants to beat the fuck out of that priest for laying a single finger on Jimin and blaming him for "tempting" him. And a different part hates himself. For not being there back then. Unable to say anything, he stretches his hand up over the pillow barrier. Not long after, Jimin's fingers interwind with his. It's the closest to physical contact they can have to help support the younger. After some minutes, Jimin keeps talking. Because his explanation was going somewhere. Back to Suga.

- The only thing keeping sane back then...was thinking about Suga. While it all happened I would dissociate and leave my imagination fly. I would imagine him entering the room. Punching that fucker in the face. Taking me away with him. Thinking that could happen...was the only reason why I didn't give up. I owe him my life.

- How long did that last? Did anyone...help you?

- I was eighteen by the time I told my parents. I realized I wasn't the only one going through that. There was some weird deals going on. But...they didn't believe me. They thought I did it on purpose. I was the bad guy in the story

- Those fucking morons

Yoongi was starting to understand why he never wanted to see them again. And knowing the years that torture lasted was too much for him not to curse.

- Still, I got out of the church. I looked for help. I went from a psychologist to a psychiatrist. Depression was eating me alive. I take meds for the disorders that caused me. I was a mess. There were years in which I would ignore my medicine completely and have black outs every time someone would touch me.

- But you're better now. I saw you take pills every day at the same time...

- Yeah. A few years ago I stopped my treatment because I couldn't afford it and my parents wouldn't help. My neighbor triggered me somehow. I don't remember what he did, how it happened or how he looked. But they told me I beat the lights out of him.

- Hmmm I'm sure he was okay after, don't feel guilty...

Yoongi remembers the first time he saw Jimin when he came back to his hometown. He ran up to him and touched his hand to get his attention. That's all the blond needed to snap back then. It was the reason Yoongi became curious about the strange attitude. And that curiosity crossed several limits when he ended up getting in the same group chat just to keep an eye on him.

- He never called the police. And his roomate Kihyun...he told me if I ever needed anything I could count on them. It was...bizarre but refreshing.

After that long night, Jimin falls asleep holding his hand. But Yoongi can't even close his eyes without going back to those days. When he returned after forgetting completely his promise. He ended up in the hospital thanks to his old crush. But it was worth it. He would let Jimin hit him a million times before leaving him alone again. He remembers what he promised now and he's not a kid to forget about it. He'll stay with him as long as he can And he'll make sure to protect him from everything and make him happy. Just like he wanted to do when he was just a kid...