✨BROKEN BUT BEAUTIFUL✨

NOTE 🙂

Wahii rozz teriii kami...

Wahii aankh mainn hainn nami....

Wahii dooriyaan sataye, bata kya karu...?

These songs were my favorite... But now have no courage to listen to it.... I have changed so much, I guess....

Ajeeb dastaan hai ye....

Kaha shuru kaha khtam....

Ki manjile hain ye pyaar ki.....

Na tum samjh sake na hum........

Never thought that these songs give me pain, to this extent... I always thought.... What is this rubbish heartbreak.. What heartbroken... My studies are much much complicated than your stupid heartbreak.... Heart is an human organ, and it's work to pump the blood, that's it...

But lol.. How wrong I was... Now I can totally understand the depth off it... When we love someone to that extent, that if they are not wid us, we started getting blank, like we have no life, no happiness, nothing exciting is left inside us.... And I guess i loved sidharth to that extent... That's why this pain is not reducing a bit..

Sometimes I really think that yes he was veryy important for us like veryy veryyy important....But we were not living wid him, ohh for God sake I have never met him in my life...

But I always feel like he is family... Like so close to my heart... What is this...? What kind off love is this..? I don't think, it's a mere attraction or like a fan thing... He was much more than this... And I really don't know what is this... Cause I have never felt this emptiness in my life ever... Like I m not like, how I was. I m not being myself.. Like something has changed...

I wonder, people are same, time is moving forward, everyone are busy in their life.. Means the world is perfectly fine.. But why not me... Why..? Why this emptiness suffocate me...? Why without thinking anything, I got sudden tears in my eyes.. Why I can't think about him, why I have no courage left inside me.. Why I don't want to talk to my any friends like before... Why I started getting scared off sitting alone, or thinking anything about him... Why all sad songs started meant so different and hurtful that I got restless... Why things are not like before... Just why.. 😭

There are so many questions... But have no answers... But now I have learnt a thing... That we want or won't, we have to live our life... No matter what we r going through, we have to, we just have to live with this pain...
My pov about life has changed utterly...

Kitni baaten yaad aati haiii...

Tasveeron si ban jaati haiiiii....

Mai kaise inhe bhulu...?

Dill ko kya samjhau... ? 💔
..............................................

Kitni baaten kehne ki haiiii....

Hothon par jo, sehmi si hainnn.....

Ek roz enhe sunnn lo...

Kyuu aise gumsum ho....? 🙂

You know what...If I watched him more than 5 minutes, I m started getting restless... Like I want him now.. I don't know anything.. I just want him.. That's it.. He is here... How is this possible.. Areeee This can't be true....

Then my KASH session gets started...

Kash ye such na hota...
Kash Sidhaaarth yahin hota....
Kash ye September aata hee nahin...
Kash sidharth, sana k pass hota...
Kash aisa na huaa hota...
Kash wo kahin spot ho jaaye... Naariyal pani peete huye.. 😭
Kash wo live aake kehde mai yaheen hu...

Fuck.. This will not end.. And the list goes on... But this bloody reality will not change ever....

If anyone felt bad after reading this.. Then I m very sorry.. But this is what I think, all the day and night... So thought to write it down, in order to get some relief.... And yes it works....

When you have nobody to express your vulnerability, then write it down.. It will help you, for sure... Also nobody will understand the depth off our pain...As he was just an actor for them... But for us, he was, is and will be our sidhaaaarth.... 🙂❤

Through my pyaari didu chhotisister had handle me in my toughest phase off life.. I had nobody except her, in that time... I irritate her all the day.. But she is so sweet, that she always treat me like her lill sister... She was disturbed equally... But still she always explain me all the things, and console me to no end... The person like her, is rarely to be found.. Love you so much didu..🥺❤

BTW sana was looking sooooo cute in that poster.... Aough She is just a kid🥺
Through meko punjabi ni aati... Aor dekhne ka man bhi nahi hai... Koi excitement, kuch v nahi....Ess baat pe no gyaan plzz.. Jab bhi dekhne lyk himmat hogi, tb will watch pkka. 🙂

If anyone wanna share something....? Dm me.. I will reply from now on... Pkka... ❤
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Tere jaane ka gum....

Aor na aane ka gum...

Fir zamaane ka gum.....

Kya karein...?

Raah dekhe nazar....

Raat bhar jaag kar....

Par teri toh khabar na mile....

Bahut aayi, gayi yaadein....

Magar ess baar, TUM HEE AANA....

Iraade phir se jaane ke,  NAHI LAANA..

             " TUM HEE AANA.....! " ❤

PS :  These songs are describing the feelings off my heart in a exact way... That's why I m writing it... No intension to hurt anyone.. 🙂