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||𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐑||
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𝟷𝟸:𝟶𝟹 ᴀᴍ
•ᴊᴜɴɢᴋᴏᴏᴋ ᴘᴏᴠ•
LOST, broken, disheartened, I couldn't describe the feelings that were suffocating me. With each passing second, the pain and torture only intensified but my eyes stayed blank while my insides screamed in agony. I felt like someone had placed a rock against my bleeding heart and kept moving it again and again only to put more scars on my already scarred heart, I felt helpless.My eyes stayed fixed on the wet grounds as I walked aimlessly on the streets of Seoul, the hood of my black hoodie succeeded in covering my miserable face from the eyes of the world.
My steps were wobbly, even when I was completely sober, my body felt too weak to carry it's own weight. 'Our baby' I choked out a weak sob as the words of the doctor kept playing in my head. I failed as a father to protect my own child, our first child. My shoulder bumped onto a passersby who grunted in annoyance but I made no efforts to apologise as I kept walking forward as the man continued cursing at me. I was unable to save my princess, my love from being brutally harassed like that. I failed as a husband.
"Hey! At least say sorry, LOSER! Fucking drunkards everywhere."
'Loser' I was indeed a loser who literally failed at everything, everything damn thing. My feet took me to an empty street and I stopped my journey by standing in the middle of road. I let the rain to drench me as my eyes never stopped shredding the burning feelings in my heart in the form of tears. My head fell back as I closed my eyes shut, the sharp raindrops now directly hitting on my face.
I was a coward, a coward for running away from the hospital the moment I heard the news about your baby dying even before he/she got the chance to see the world. Even before we had chance to take him/her in our arms and love them. I was missing our baby even though I never got the chance to meet him/her. Our precious flower. Not being able to hold my emotions in any longer, I screamed letting my inner agony to free itself.
