Word count: 1806
Trigger warning! : Suicide.
Read at your own risk!
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~ M/n's pov ~
I look down at the bustling street below, full of lives that are happily chatting away and cars filling up the roads. Everybody is laughing around with their loved ones as some of them are window shopping, looking for gifts for the upcoming Christmas celebration. Tall trees decorated with Christmas ornaments are standing at the side of the road, giving off the warm and fuzzy feeling of the holiday season it represents. Some kids are also running around, making their parents worry for their safety since the pavements are extra slippery during winter. Snowmen are everywhere, hell, there's even a couple building one in front of the block. They sometimes slather the snow at their partner, earning a loud gasp before all hell broke loose. But it all ended with their jolly laughters.
' How carefree..' I thought as I observe their cheerful behavior. They got into the building not long after. I continued to look at the scenery below from the rooftop as hours passed by until the city slowly died down, rows of shops started to close and leaving only a few walking figures roaming the now silent streets. I sigh as I know that nobody can stop me now, knowing that what I'm about to do won't bring harm to people, just myself.
' Yeah... I know it'll come to this in the end.' I said as I breathe shakily. ' I'm sorry, mom. I can't do it anymore...'
I slowly stand up at the edge of the rooftop, seeing that the coast is clear, tears started forming in my eyes. My green orbs glistened in disappointment and hopelessness. I look up at the sky, taking in the last view of stars on this world, knowing that I'll miss this scenery. Glassy beads started rolling down my cheeks and my nose started to have a pink tint on them.
' I'm sorry I was never a good son... I'm sorry I keep on making you worry about me... I'm sorry I never make you feel happy... I'm sorry I keep on lying to you... I'm sorry I can't even tell you about all the bad things that happened to me... I'm sorry I can't handle life in college that I can't continue this...' I chuckled sadly at myself as I look at one of the brightest star.
' I'm sorry Dad... I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough... I'm sorry I always cry, hell, I'm even crying right now... I'm sorry I can't keep our promise... I'm sorry I'm a disappointment... I'm sorry I'm mentally unstable... I'm sorry I'm never good enough for you...' I started to feel immense pain in my heart and throat.
' And dear myself, I'm sorry... I'm sorry I keep on hurting myself... I'm sorry I'm depressed... I'm sorry I allow those thoughts to stay in my head... I'm sorry I let myself engulfed by the darkness in me... I'm sorry I can't save me now... I'm sorry I started to lose myself piece by piece... I'm sorry... That I have nobody now... And I'm sorry, that I can't even take care of my sister... Now she's gone...' I choked out, body shaking in slight fear and sadness. I look down, tears now streaming like a river as I sobbed to myself, preparing to say my last goodbye for the world.
Once I felt ready, I can't help but smile widely, feeling as if all the burdens on my shoulder are finally lifted off of me. I feel serene and calm as I'm about to greet death.
' Thank you... for having me, world. Goodnight.' I whispered softly and let myself fall from the five-storey building. For a short moment, I feel as if my body is as light as air before I heard my body hit the ground with a crush. My vision turns black and excruciating pain engulfed my whole vessel. I could hear ringing in my ears before I finally lose my consciousness...
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It's... warm...
Is this.. what's death.. supposed to be..?
YOU ARE READING
book ideas, dunno if I ever gonna make it
Randomrandom things I thought of. Well, as a writer, we all have the idea to create stories and at times, we will forget that idea since we didn't jot it down. So that's the purpose of this book for me, to make sure I won't forget about it. I want to shar...
