17 Made Mistakes

⋆43༄ You bet

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𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵

I close my eyes and exhale. Davina's steps diminish in volume, and after a short minute, the gravel no longer crunches under her sandals. She's gone.

I open my eyes and peer at my father's grave. The image of him holding my hand heaves in my head. The CPR I performed didn't save him, but for just a short second, it brought back his consciousness. Once awake, he circled his fingers around mine, which were pressing onto his chest in a desperate need of keeping him alive. Before another spasm jerked his body and he got knocked back into the unconscious state, he looked at me — the boy who mistreated him for years, who then, in that moment of inevitable tragedy, was shedding ugly tears as he was striving to save his father's life. He saw it. He saw how much it was breaking me. He saw that I wasn't ready to lose him. That I didn't want to lose him. He squeezed my hand and whispered my name. It was a goodbye.

I let my chest expand in another deep breath. I listen to the silence. I've been coming here so often just to hear it. The silence. There's just something so tranquilizing about it. Something entirely different from what's been happening in my head. The quietude in my house isn't the same. It's overwhelming, whilst the one here, is calming.

I crane my head to look up at the sky. It's perfectly blue — no clouds rolling by. The sun is dazzling, forcing my eyes to narrow. I remember doing the same thing a few years ago — relaxing, sitting on the balcony, surrounded by my mother's plants. It was such a lovely summer. It was a few days before I decided to go for that catastrophic run.

My eyes shift to the box that Davina gave me. It's quite large but very thin. Not so weighty. I'm curious what sort of surprise comes with it. I could probably open it now, but since Davina found out the truth, there is something else I should do first. I need to contact the lawyers and tell them that I'm ready. I need to see my mother and tell her that I'm sorry. I've been left with many responsibilities, so maybe it's time to finally grow up. I also need to think about Davina's confession regarding Connor.

A crow soars down from the tree and lands on the tombstone. His black-feathered head turns to me. He watches me with curiosity, or at least that's what it looks like, and then he lets out a loud 'caw caw' cry.

"You think I should go now?" I ask him, as if he could understand me.

Another noisy caw filters out into the air. Hm, maybe he does understand.

"Alright then," I mutter, and get off the bench.

~~~~~~~~~~

I called the lawyers. They changed the date for tomorrow. Tomorrow everyone is going to find out. A few days ago, I wouldn't have been okay with it, but now, I feel that I made the right decision.

I visited my mother and we spoke for at least an hour. She seemed really pleased that I have finally come to my senses. Obviously, she has her own house now, so she won't be moving back in, but she promised to come over as often as she only can.