take your time | young royals

chapter fourteen

Wilhelm's POV:

The moment finally came. I thought it would never arrive but it actually did. He kissed me and it was the first euphoric feeling I've experienced since before Christmas. He may have just done it to throw Johan off his game, but in my eyes it was a completely different story.

When I told him I loved him, I knew what was coming around the corner. I knew he wouldn't return it but it's what I deserved after that interview.

We were in my room with the bodyguards right outside. This was the time where I could actually talk to him without Johan, August, Sara, or Annika getting in the way. We were both sitting on the edge of the bed, I was fiddling around with Erik's watch on my wrist whilst he took in the surrounding of what was my room.

Take your time, I said in a soft tone. Those three words instantly made his shoulders drop. Those three words were what he needed to hear at that very exact moment, because it's true. He needs to take his time and I respect that, I always have. But, right now I was impatient. I had to start a conversation because this was the perfect place to do it.

"Simon?"

He let out a low hum signalling for me to continue.

"Do.. you remember that time.. on the football field last year?"

He sighed but then ended it with a breathless laugh. "Yeah. How could I forget?"

I couldn't help but feel my lips curl upwards at his response. "I wanted to thank you again, for rescuing me."

He turned his head a little bit to meet my eyes. I could feel his confused expression burn at the side of my face. "What are you trying to say?"

He can always see right through me. It's like he can read my mind all the time, he always knows how to make me feel better or what I'm trying to say.

"That was when I realised I had these feelings for you. I didn't understand them at first because I was always taught that those feelings were to be ashamed of. A joke. But, I'm not so sure it's a joke anymore."

He fully turned his head to face me now and I couldn't help but turn my head in response.

He sighed deeply and played with the hem of his jumper. "Your feelings aren't a joke, Wilhelm. They're a part of who you are. You shouldn't have to change that. Please don't feel the need to change yourself to fit other people's expectations."

I breathed in his words like a glass of water. He was right, but it's so hard. I always seek other people's approval and care too much of what they might think of me.

"Yeah." I spoke, my voice almost a whisper. "You're right, but it's just so hard. People never seem to accept me."

"I accept you, Wille. Isn't that all that matters? If your mother can't accept who you love then her approval and opinion doesn't matter."

Before I could respond I heard a couple of knocks on my door. I whipped my head around and closed one eye to peek through the hole and try to see who it was. It was her, literally the one person I desperately didn't want to see.

My mother.

I could hear Malin trying to convince her that I wasn't here but she snapped back that she could hear ruffling and noises from inside. I looked at Simon with desperation, hoping he would have any ideas. I gestured for him to hide because my window was busted and would take a good minute or two to open. He was about to hide in the closet but thought it was dumb because she could try to see if his room was messy. So, he decided to crawl under the bed on his stomach and laid there whilst I went to answer the door.

"Hi mother." I breathed, trying to act like I was alone.

"Hello Wilhelm, may I speak to you? Is anybody else here?"

I swallowed the lump harshly at the back of my throat, begging for it to disappear. The pool of sweat deepening at the back of my neck. "Of course. Nobody is here."

I stepped aside as she walked in regally. Looking over at the walls and then opening my closet to look through my clothes. I'm glad Simon is smart, otherwise I would've died just then.

"I have something to discuss with you." She continued, setting herself down on my bed right above Simon.

"What is it?" I asked desperately, sitting down next to her, brushing a hand through my hair to avoid her gaze on my shaky hands. "I have to leave for dinner soon so we can't take too long."

"Annika has explained to me that you have been speaking to that boy again. Is this true?"

That little snitch.

I gulped, hopefully eating the nerves that were piling up at the back of my throat. I nodded my head nervously as she sighed.

"Wilhelm, remember how I told you to block him on social media? Did you even listen to me?"

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as I nodded my head once again. My fists clenched shut so tight I could already feel the crescent-shaped nail marks against my soft skin, most likely turning red.

"If you don't listen to me, I could do anything to him so he will stay out of the way. He will destroy our reputation."

"You can't do that!" I scowled, lifting myself off the bed. "It's not fair! It wasn't even his fault, it was mine! And I don't even care about your stupid reputation, what about me?"

She sat there with an incredulous look on her face as her eyes tilted upwards to look at her son that had just had a go at her.

"What about me?" I repeated, seething my teeth. "Don't you ever care about what I want? About my happiness? Do I really not mean anything to you?!"

"Wilhelm, don't be ridiculous. You know that's not what I mean-"

"Then what do you mean?"

The room suddenly went silent and I could feel darkness creeping in, the walls around me closing making it a struggle for me to breathe. The blood pounded in my ears and my heart thudded inside of my chest against my rib cage. My hands shook, my feet tingled, and my vision disfigured, as if I were looking through a fish-eye lens. I had to get away. I couldn't even look at her. My own mother. She still hadn't responded. I had to make an escape so I ran. I quickened my pace so she wouldn't be able to follow. I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

Where I knew I would always be safe.

From her.

Bit of an intense chapter today. Sorry if it's late. My last chapter was really late so I tried to write this one quick, sorry if it's a bit rushed.

I don't really do well with writing panic attacks so I hope this was okay. Thanks so much for reading and for over 2k+ reads. You all are so supportive and sweet, ilysm.