iii: not thinking

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Oh my fuck

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Oh my fuck. That is all the words I have to describe today.

Earlier when I walked away from Blake, yeah I probably should've left in a better way. But it's not my fault I've never been called pretty. Not to mention it was from a hot guy who I sit next to in Spanish.

Calculus was a little better. Free period to catch up on work for the other kids, I just sort of mentally pieced everything together. I didn't sit next to him in there, so it gave me the breather I needed.

Last period I had P.E. I explained to Aaliyah that I got "lost".

The gym coach told me I could sit out my first day until I got gym clothes. So I sat and watched everyone else get tortured.

Now I'm home, sitting on my bed, wondering how I've let a boy into my mind and it's only the first day.

His comments confused the hell out of me. Cause I've bumped into multiple gorgeous girls in just one day. Literally two of them being his friends.

"DAHLIA DAHLIA! I got a 100 on my math test!" Jake barges into my room. Just like me, Jake is a math person. I laugh at his excitement and pull him into a hug.

"I'm proud of you." I whisper into his ear. "I can't wait to show mom!" he bubbles and runs out of the room.

Sometimes I don't have the heart to tell him he'll be in bed before she's home. It hurts like a bitch to have to be their pretend mom during the afternoon. Mom doesn't get home till around 9, trying to get as many hours and as much pay as possible.

I don't have any homework yet, so it gives me plenty of time to start on dinner later. For now I'm just going to stare at my ceiling and NOT think about Blake.

Wait I just did.

I'm starting over. Now I'm not thinking about Blake.

Well this is harder than I thought.

━━━━━━━━━━

The time is 6 p.m now. I figure I should probably make the boys something to eat. I make my way down the hall to the kitchen. Out the window I see Emerson hitting baseballs he throws in air himself.

He's determined, but if I could give up anything to let him be trained, I would.

I scrummage through the pantry and fridge. They're pretty empty right now. I find some lettuce, carrots, and chicken. A boring salad will do.

Cutting up some lettuce, my mind wanders. Wanders to something I don't want it to.

Dammit, I'm an over thinker, he probably didn't mean what he said. From what I gathered the Fallon girl was single and his friend. Maybe he stared at her too.

I throw some shredded carrots into the bowl with the lettuce. There's some leftover chicken from last nights dinner so I put that in the salad too.

It's not much. There's some tortillas and cheese in the fridge. Boom. A side quesadilla. An extremely plain one, but a quesadilla in all.

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