Chapter Nineteen

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A/N: Hi everyone. If you care to know why I've been a shit updater (ha what else is new), take a peak at the note I put on my profile. If however you don't care to know, rest assured that I am still alive and that in the week(s) to follow this story will come to a conclusion. I apologize, and to those who are still sticking around, and have through all of my ridiculous hiatuses, thank you. If it weren't for you lot I wouldn't be doing this. I sound ridiculous right now but your support literally does mean the world to me. With my desire to be an author in the future, it means a lot to me knowing that there are people out there who actually enjoy reading the shit I have to offer and wait for more. I've said it several times, but to the lot of you, thank you. Wattpad and writing in general is truly one of my only sources of happiness. Thank you for letting me do what I do. To all those who will not continue reading, no hard feelings - I wouldn't put up with the rocky schedule of mine, either. I know this note has carried on too long, the lot of you will probably skip it, so I hereby present the chapter. I love you all.



Louis debated for a very long time on what to do - where to go and who to turn to. He didn't know who was out there to help Harry. The most omnipresent thing in his mind was to take Harry to the hospital. Certainly they could help him there, or at least keep him from hurting himself.


Still, Louis didn't know if that was the best idea. Did Harry really need hospitalization? Probably. And yet, this hadn't been the first occurrence of a similar episode, not by any means, and all this time Louis had managed to take care of Harry by himself. He had never had assistance. It was like Harry was his personal responsibility, and he honestly didn't mind.


The thought did occur to him, so many times that it was discomforting, that maybe that's where the problem was. Maybe he wasn't the right person to be taking care of his curly-haired mate. If that was the case, there really wasn't anyone who was right for the task. Louis was painfully aware that he was the only person Harry really trusted, and there was no way that his best mate would be open to the idea of being away from him. Louis couldn't help but to think that Harry's dependency issues were a bigger problem than he made them out to be.


Jesus, you think?


 His own conscience spat at him, and Louis cringed. It had been a problem ever since Louis could remember, yet he still didn't know how to solve it. Never before had he considered Harry hopeless, but now that the idea was in his mind, it refused to leave. It almost scared him how accurate it was. Years of therapy had done nothing for Harry. If nothing else, it only seemed to be making it worse. Contrary to what Louis tried to convince himself of, he didn't doubt that Harry was fully capable of killing someone - he didn't doubt it at all.


Still, every time Louis glanced in the rear view mirror and saw his best mate, sleeping ever so peacefully, he couldn't imagine Harry ever being capable of hurting someone. Unfortunately, Harry was almost prone to hurting people. It usually wasn't anything terribly severe (he had never actually stabbed anyone, for example), but he did hurt the people who were close to him. Whether that be physically, emotionally, or even psychologically, it was a bad tendency that he had.


When he put it all into consideration, Louis came to realize that he truly didn't know what to do. He didn't like the idea of seeing Harry in a hospital, under someone else's care. It may be selfish of him, but he didn't really want anyone else taking care of his mate. He himself wasn't doing a terribly great job of that, but at least Harry felt safe in his care. An unsafe Harry was a terrifying thought, and Louis felt bad that he found his best mate scary. He didn't think that he ever felt actual fear around Harry, and he didn't think that Harry would ever hurt him - not in a severe matter, anyhow.

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