Just a Professor?!?

Between doors

Narrator POV

Aubrey wasn't getting along with the fact that she was her Professors girlfriend. She slumbered for day and night not getting any rest because of the pain. She had to suffer from Nate and she didn't heal completely, now she has to heal from Lizzie?

All she ever wanted was a solid relationship.
Someone who loves her the way she loves someone. Deeply and madly. But somehow she couldn't get the thoughts out of her head.

Maybe I don't deserved to be loved?

Maybe I won't find anyone who won't  lie to me or treat me like shit.

Her mind wanders around and she needed to be alone. But the thoughts are making her drown.

She told her best friends that she left a couple days to New York to her mom but that was a blunt lie.
As much As she loves having them around she doesn't feel ready to be seen like this.

Like the mess she is. She was never that down. She always fought through and came out at the end but somehow she lost the power to move on.

„Aubrey are you here?" she heard a loud knock on the door and it took her by surprise.

She wasn't sure who she heard so she stepped forward to the door peeking through peephole and it was Lizzie Standing there waiting for an answer.

„I heard footsteps which means you are there. Can you please open the door so I can come in?" she pleaded placing her flat hand against the closed door.

Aubrey opened the door until the metal lock stopped from opening further.

Their eyes locked together and it felt like time stopped. They haven't seen each other for a week because Aubrey skipped college.

„Can you please let me in. I haven't seen you in a week and you didn't answer my calls or texts. I don't believe that Vivian said you went to New York since the college didn't get an email excuse from you. Can you please open the door so we can talk." she was already on the verge off tears but Aubrey didn't move a muscle.

„Are you a Detektive now? Because nothing would surprise me since you lied about your relationship status." Aubrey answered bluntly not bothering to place a filter in front of her words.

„I- wait you remember?" she asks shocked and her expression was written all over her face.

„Guess I would have been better off without the memory." Aubrey spat while they still talked through the small gap.

„Please don't say that." a tear rolled down Lizzie's face and Aubrey didn't mind.

„I have every right to say it. You broke me. You played me and betrayed me. So what do you want? Apologize? Do it but it won't get you far because I'm never gonna forget it." she almost yelled through her tears and quivering lips but the only thing Lizzie could do was stand there in shock.

No words could ever make up for the things she did.

„Aubrey please I didn't mean to. I was trying to tell you and explain myself. But-."

„It doesn't matter Elizabeth! I was just a place holder. I kept his bedside warm. Oh god. What the fuck have I been thinking. That a person like you would actually want something serious with me.
It was Unmoral in the first place. We shouldn't have even happened. I'm a fucking student and your a professor. See where I'm going with this? Either way it would have ended bad."

„I swear if I could turn back time I would. I never wanted us to end like this. You mean everything to me and I mean it. Please just let me fix this. I can fix it. He doesn't mean anything to me. I'm planing on divorcing him and I've been planing this before we met. We where always fighting and arguing it was toxic from the beginning and I didn't see it until recently. We had one last argument before he went away for his job and I thought that was it. I thought he finally left but he came back and I- I didn't know how to tell you this. Please Aubrey. Just let me in so we can talk properly."

„Yeah. Turn back time. This takes me back to the night we met. Remember what I said? I need a fucking time machine. But other than that I'm feeling glorious... it's true. I wish I had one so that I could turn back with the same knowledge from today. I would have minded you when we met on the beach... it hurts to say this because we shared so many amazing moments. I still hold onto them believe me. But that one thing that ruins the picture is your lie. I was a fool for falling. I'm never doing that again."

„Bre please don't say that. I'm still holding onto us. I won't let you go." she pleaded and stepped closer hoping she could reach out to Aubrey but the door   Separated the both ex lover.

„I can't ask you to leave him. How long have you been even with him?" she huffed out while she takes in a deep breath.

„Five Years. But that doesn't mean anything. The time I've spend with you is so much worth and-."

„Elizabeth five years? You throw a relationship of five years away for someone like me? Someone you've spend almost a year with? This is ridiculous. Try to fix your first relationship." she scoffed at her not wanting to believe that she wants her.

„I tried so hard to fix what I had with him. But he never invested the same energy as I did. But you. You give me the same energy and so much more I couldn't even ask for. I want you. That's why I'm here. What we had isn't ridiculous. Please just can you let me in I'm begging bre."

„I can't let you in. It's already hard enough to see you here. Elizabeth this is to much for me now. I can't even get myself out of my own apartment and that was going on like this since I remembered."
Both of their faces where stained in tears of hurt. They said things that where hurtful.

„Can you please at least try to come back to college. It's only a couple weeks until you have the graduation ceremony. I don't want you to miss the last weeks. Not because of me but because of you. Do it for yourself not for me."

„I'll try. This is all I can give you." Aubrey answered while whipping her tears away.

„Thank you bre." Aubrey's stomach never twisted when she heard her nickname but hearing it from Lizzie hurts. It pains her to know that she won't be with her any time soon.

She wants her so bad and that's the biggest problem for her. Despite from the thing that she kept from her she still wanted to lay in her arms and hear her heartbeat. To smell her perfume close and on her clothes. To just sit in her garden and talk about the most absurd things in life. To have those deep talks she had with her. The way she listened so eagerly when Aubrey told her story's or things she was passionate about. Her infectious smile and the good aura she carried around with her.

But all that and so much more didn't felt like the same. Because she belonged to somebody else at the moment. Aubrey didn't see herself as a home wrecker. She never wanted to be the reason why another relationship ended. A relationship builded up on a big lie.

„Will you ever forgive me for what I've done?" Lizzie asked her ex girlfriend out of nowhere.

Without hesitation Aubrey knew what the answer was to that question.

„one day I hope so. But I can't do it now. It's to soon. I need time to think and heal. I'm sorry." she answered and a tear fell down Lizzie's beautiful face.

„That's all I wanted. I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes for you to forgive me." she replied and Aubrey shook her head.

„I can't ask for you to wait. It's to much to ask for."

„No it's not. When it comes to you I'm having patience. I've learned it when you laid in that hospital bed for weeks. I would have waited longer if I had to." Aubrey's heart aches as she thinks how Lizzie waited for her to come back.

Despite the fact that Aubrey would be mad at her when she wakes up she still waited and hoped it would turn out differently.

„I hope I'll see you on Monday." lizzie excused herself and Aubrey nod at her.

„We'll have to wait and see." Aubrey answered and closed the door slowly taking in these emerald green eyes one more time.