Tape • NH

15

Chapter Fifteen, Daft Love...?

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     It seems like I always sit in my car and think a lot. I probably do. I couldn't help it today, though. My mind was running off about Carmen and the fact I will be seeing her later on. It was because of these stupid little dreams I had last night that kept waking me up every hour or so. Each one of them were about Carmen and made me question my entire life and existence. One was about us walking the school holding hands. The most shocking part was that liked it and wanted to. Another was about me taking her to my favorite place to eat, which I don't know why I'd ever do that. What made it all so ridiculous and silly was that I felt like I... like I really, really, really liked her a lot.

     Who am I kidding? I'm being stupid. My dreams were stupid and more annoying than anything. I barely had a chance to sleep peacefully without waking up in a fright over something or another that involved Carmen.

     Just as I was about to get out of my car, I saw Carmen and nearly had a heart attack. I couldn't control the groan that left my mouth as I got out and faced her. I made a mental note to find another good parking spot while I studied her face. She looked mad and I prayed it wasn't at me. I haven't done anything since yesterday. At least I don't think. We had exchanged numbers yesterday, so maybe I was supposed to text her? No, she would have sent me a text and she didn't. Did she? Crap, I feel like there was something important I probably intentionally forgot and shouldn't have. Hmm, maybe that's why I was dreaming about her?

     "Where have you been?" Carmen asked with her hand on her hip. Someone is sassy and mean. See, this is why it's impossible for me to freaking like her so much.

     "Um, I was home getting ready? What's up with you?"

     "Samantha! I hope she gets hit by a bus."

     "We shouldn't have watched Mean Girls yesterday. Calm down, Janis."

     "Don't call me Janis Ian! You're freaking Karen Smith."

     "I'm totally Glen Coco."

     "Whatever, just stop."

     "Okay, okay. Tell me what happened."

     Carmen was glaring at me with a tense jaw and stance, but relaxed and looked at the ground. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed as she thought of something to say.

     "She was talking behind my back in front of me... or, well, she was talking about me and I heard her."

     "What did she say?"

     "It was... uh, never mind. It doesn't matter. Let's just go to school."

     "Were you planning on ditching again? How bad was it? Tell me what Samantha said."

     "No, I realized it's stupid. Sorry, I don't know why I waited for you. I'm going to go clean my locker before school starts."

     "I've seen the inside of your locker. It's cleaner than Adrian's."

     "I meant the outside."

     "Why?"

     Carmen ignored me as she began to walk away towards the school. So much for thinking she was mad at me. A part of me was upset still. I wanted to make her feel better. I wanted to hear her laugh at something she said about me. Okay, that sounds crazy. I'm crazy. Jesus, what did those dreams do to me? I can't stop thinking about them. Or maybe I just can't stop thinking about her... ew. I ended up following her out of my own free will. When I caught up to her, she ignored me. That only frustrated me and motivated me to know exactly what happened.